There are two words that I am highly allergic to, and they are relationship and commitment. I heard both of those words at least 20 times each last night while talking to Champ. I just met this girl not even a week ago, and these words are already being said way too many times. Too many references are being made to "us". My skin is crawling right now just thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, this is a very lovely young lady, and so far she seems to be a cool person. The fact of the matter is, I don¢t know her. Now every time, I say I'm going to do things right, and not sample the goodies, I fail. I am always cool afterwards, because I have that male mentality and I'm able to separate my feelings from sex. On the other hand, most females are not able to do this. Champ is one of them.
Dammit, dammit, dammit! The aftermath is that of dreamy sighs, eyes, and those dreadful references to "us". I do blame myself, because by now I should have learned my lesson. Everybody is not like me, and sex complicates things for most people. Now if I don't call her, or at least halfway acknowledge her like she acknowledges me, I'll be labeled a dog. I would like to get to know this girl, but at a normal pace. Lesbians are getting besides themselves now days, with this speed dating crap. Talk one time on the phone, and then a couple days later they're in a relationship. I can't do it! I've done it before, and it only led to a crash and burn situation. I'm not in the mood for all of that.
Champ may or may not make the cut. That has yet to be determined, since it's only been a short period of time. Mentally, I've already found myself holding back, because I'm not sure if she'll be able to match that. I may be underestimating her though. We shall see though. Yesterday was the first time that I felt bad for talking to someone other than DeeJay. It's hard to be at a stand still for DeeJay though. She lacks so much experience in many areas in life. I know one thing, I have to stop choosing the freak over the angel though. I mean the pleasure only lasts so long. For me, if your mental isn't hitting right, the pleasure only occurs maybe twice, and I'm gone.
I may be reaching far and beyond when I say this, but I think it's time to take a vow of celibacy. Sex only labels me a slime ball and a heart breaker, and an occasional stalker or two. I'm getting too old for this. It's time for me to stop living by the Biggie Motto: "If they head right, Mica there every night." I can do this the right way. I've been working ass backwards in this whole dating thing. Maybe if I get my act right, I won't be so allergic to the words relationship and commitment. I'll welcome them both with open arms.
LMAO! YEAH RIGHT!!! YA'LL PRAY FOR ME!
6 readers:
Yes indeed!
Then got the poor girl hooked!!!
U know us women become to emotionally attached!
Look just tell her how u feel! Have a heart to heart and see where things go okay mami!
Ugh, Dreamy. I am going to try. That may not work, she's too far gone. I am going to try though.
it's super hard for girls to know where their emotions truly are. so they associate everything with sex. We think like (or at least some of us) "they must like me cuz we did the nasty".... & then we wrap our minds around the affection we had during the sex, and try to turn it into something it wasn't . we just need to realize sometimes that IT'S JUST SEX!!! lol .
btw, loved this blog .
You are right. I have a hard time thinking that people can do what I do when it comes to their emotions. "then we wrap our minds around the affection we had during the sex, and try to turn it into something it wasn't" - loved that. Lol.
It's somewhat funny how a large majority of us lesbians fall so hard, so quickly...but i guess that's kinda true of most women in general regardless of sexual orientation. It can be kinda scary though, huh? Throw in some (good) sex though?? That sh*t is a wrap! LOL!
Yeah, that is funny. I think its an acceptance thing. I can't say I'm guilty of this anymore, but once before I believe that I would fall hard, because I felt that I was understood. That shit was played, and I got my mind right real quick, loll.
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