I knew people referred to the world as being a small one, but I didn’t think it was this damn small. I was well aware of what I was getting myself into when I entered the life of Ms. Denise Washington, but this was way more than I bargained for. I didn’t think she would be this beautiful. How could a person like her be so weak? She seems to have it all together on the outside; inside she was a complete mess. Sort of like what she made me out to be. Or more like what I made myself out to be on our first encounter. I had no idea how I would weasel my way into the head of a “head doctor”, but I found my way in when I found out her and Bobbie use to be such great friends.
Humph, Bobbie. She was quite the character. No wonder Denise stopped fooling with her trifling behind. I spent thirteen precious months with that basket case. She took me and everyone else in her life through a whirlwind. She didn’t know a good thing if it slapped her in the face. She used people non-stop and when someone finally came into her life and gave her a dose of her own medicine, she didn’t know how to handle it. That is why I stepped into the picture in the first place. She was about to break, because she was being stepped on. This man she called her husband used and abused her just like she had use and abused so many others throughout her life. She needed me just like all the rest did. I was eager to extend my helping hand, because in some pathetic way, I felt bad for Bobbie. She tried so hard to be this woman that she truly wasn’t. I was there to help her find that person inside of her. I was there to teach her ass a lesson once and for all.
Many sleepless nights came about, because she kept fighting me. She was a woman who was puffed up with pride and tried to push me away with every tactic that came to mind. But she soon realized that she couldn’t push me away. I was unstoppable. I was the elephant in her every room. As time went by, I knew she would soon accept things as they were and work with me instead of against me. Boy was I wrong. This bitch turned on me. She cried insane on me; placed us both in a white room with padded walls. This wasn’t what I signed up for. Something happened to me in that place. The woman I once was, was no more. She did not exist once the trial was over. She did not exist once the flames were put out. She did not exist after that casket was closed. Bobbie can be held accountable for all. I tried my best to be everything that she needed me to be. We made passionate love that was sure to ease her mind to the point where she forgot all else. I guess she was more hooked to that dick than I thought she was. Ha-ha, joke was on me. Or that is what she thought huh? No, not ever! The joke was on her!
I walked away from her with the explosions going off behind me. Now here I am. It looks as if I have found a new home. I have no worries of being caught, because as I’ve said before; I leave the scene with no fingerprints left behind. Bobbie indeed led me to Denise and that was the only thing the bitch was good for. The first task I must accomplish is teaching Ms. Washington how to keep her nose out of places it doesn’t belong. She’s too pretty to be on my bad side.
Nikki Part III
It had been three weeks since I planned to take my life and Nikole Seasons, who calls herself Nikki, indirectly saved me from doing so. Come to find out she came to me by way of my old college roommate, Bobbie Kees. I have received many referrals from tons of clients, family members, and friends, but none of them can hold a candle to Nikole Seasons. She is absolutely flawless; standing about 5 feet 9 inches, golden caramel complexion, tight oval shaped eyes, full luscious lips with perfect teeth to match. She was gorgeous on the outside; with a body that could bring any woman or man to their knees. However, on the inside there seemed to be a million volcanoes erupting all at once. Let’s face it, she is a mess! The day she showed up on my doorstep she ended up staying for three hours. She totally helped me escape my own issues. Usually in cases of emergencies I charge double by the hour, but I couldn’t convince myself to take her money even if I wanted to. I was for sure in no need of it. I had been blessed to be named the top psychologist with the most clients in my office. So having one case on the house was no problem.
It took her quite some time to warm up to me, and that is quite understandable, because I was a complete stranger. Here she was in my living room attempting to empty her mental space and place it in my hands. I told her to take her time and only share as much information with me that she felt comfortable to. There were a few moments of silence and during these times I took the time to look at her. She was indeed a well groomed woman; youthful with a sense of elegance that I hadn’t encountered before. There was no doubt that his woman took pride in herself and her appearance. I have known women like this to be someone who uses their physical beauty to cover up the mental bruises they portray. All those insecurities that lie within them. I could not help but to wonder would she be just like the rest of those women as I sate there tracing the frame of her perfectly sculptured body.
“I know you must think I’m crazy and I sincerely want to extend my apologies once again for showing up on such short notice.” She said with her eyes plastered to the pants of her white business suit. She looked up at me with such remorse and my heart instantly went out to her. “It’s just that lately I have been struggling with so many emotions that I knew if I didn’t talk to someone soon I would completely lose it.”
“Well, I am glad that you decided to speak to someone. Most people don’t recognize the dangers of stress and don’t act on their problems until something traumatic occurs. So kudos to you for that.” I sate there feeling so unprepared. I know I should have had my legal pad and recorder in front of me, but I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she already was. I would have to wing this one and depend on my memory alone. “So what exactly have you been struggling with lately Nikole? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Oh Dr. Washington! My life has made a complete 360 in the past two months. Things weren’t perfect, but they were manageable. I had a wonderful career, a healthy bank account, a loving family, great friends, and the world was at my fingertips. I did not break when I lost the biggest case of my career. I didn’t break when my house burned down with everything that I owned inside. I didn’t break when my childhood friend of 31 years sexually assaulted and raped me. I didn’t break when I found out I was pregnant with his child. It wasn’t until my other half, my sanity, my identical twin took her life.” Tears were streaming down her face by this time. I felt a lump in my throat as well, because this was a ton of misery for just one person to take on.
I walked over to my fireplace and grabbed the box of Kleenex and handed them to her. “I can see how all of this would break you Nikole. I honestly wouldn’t know how to handle so much at one time myself. You prove to be a very strong woman.”
“I was raised to be strong and to never let anything or anyone cause me to fall on my face. I was taught that every hurdle can be jumped no matter how high. But when I walked into my sister’s condo and saw her hanging from the banister of her staircase, I fell flat on my face.” She wiped her nose and dried her face. “I lost it that day. And the world that I once had, ended.”
“I know that you mentioned you and your sister were close. Were you aware of any problems that she might’ve had that would make her take her life?” I asked, as I sat there marinating in my own guilt. I felt so selfish and horrible for what I was about to do one second before this woman knocked on my door. I sat there looking at how miserable she was. Look at how much sorrow was in her life now that her sister was gone. I couldn’t imagine taking my best friend and family through this type of pain.
“She was a free spirit. She lived her life on the edge and this was something that I was always envious of. I was the one who always had to have such a structured life and I worried about everything. She spent most of her days trying to get me to loosen up. That’s why I don’t understand why she would kill herself!” she laid her head on the back of my couch and stared at the ceiling for quite some time. I wanted to interject, but I decided against it. “Her and my parents didn’t get along. She always jokingly said that if she were to die, they wouldn’t care, because all they cared about was me anyway. I never took her seriously on this matter, because mom and dad loved her.”
“How do your parents feel now? What were their conditions after the…funeral?” Speaking of death with my clients was something that I wasn’t comfortable with. I was trained not to hesitate in any of my words and deliverance when dealing with clients, but sometimes it is hard. I took a deep breath and awaited her response.
“Well my mother was a wreck. I knew it was more guilt than anything. My dad didn’t show much emotion. He didn’t cry at her funeral, but when he speaks of her now the sorrow in which he feels seeps through his pores. I know they both feel bad for the relationship that they chose to have or not have with her, but now it’s too late.” She rubbed her stomach. “It’s too late for a lot of things…”
“Lots of things like what?” I asked.
“Once I finally came to grips with the fact that I had life growing inside of me, it was too late.” She started to cry again. “I hated that life at first. I selfishly only thought about me and I just knew that my career would be jeopardized because of this “curse” that was placed inside of me.” She shook her head back and forth. “He showed me. God has made me pay for my thoughts. He allowed me to grow to love the child within me and then He took it away from me!”
“Did you miscarriage?” I asked.
“Yes.” She said with a light chuckle. She dabbed her eyes dry again. “And here I was so worried about the baby ruining my career and I lost the biggest case of my career on my own!” She looked back up to the ceiling and yelled, “I hear you loud and clear! I get it!”
“Nikole, I don’t know if you are a religious woman, but I must say that I don’t believe God does anything to purposely hurt us. Things happen in our lives that are meant to teach us a lesson, but Satan is the cause of all evil. I don’t think that God took the lives of your sister and your unborn child.” I hope that I didn’t overstep the code of ethics by dabbling too much into the whole religion thing.
“Maybe you’re right. Perhaps all of this was just mapped into my life’s timeline and design. Who knows? I just want to know how the hell am I going to get through this one with all my marbles still accounted for, you know?” She rhetorically asked.
“Yes, I know. Like I said earlier, it is quite apparent that you are a very strong woman with a great deal of common sense. I know that this is indeed a very high hurdle to jump and I am here to help you whenever you need it. Don’t hesitate to call me when you feel the need to. Besides, any friend of Bobbi’s is a friend of mine”, I smiled at her hoping to bring some light into her world as impossible as I thought it was at the moment.
To my surprise she smiled back. “I do thank you again Dr. Washington for allowing me into your home and listening to me spill my guts.” She laughed. “I don’t want this to be the last time that we speak and I know that I will need more than just this one session.” She reached into her purse and handed me her business card. “Please give me a call at my office so that we can set up something more legit and professional so to speak. I know your services aren’t free. In fact, here you go.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. “Please take this, because I can’t leave here without paying you for just listening to me. You have no idea how much was lifted off of me just venting out to you.”
I pushed her hand away. “I will not accept your monies Nikole. You came here on behalf of a very dear friend of mine. I couldn’t possibly charge you for this. Let’s just consider this one on the house.” I winked as I got up from my love seat. “We will indeed set up regular appointments for you to attend at my office. Then I’ll have to take your money,” I laughed. We both headed for the door. “Well thank you for allowing me to listen to you today Nikole, and please expect my call sometime tomorrow afternoon.” I said opening the front door so she could depart.
“Please call me Nikki, Dr. Washington. I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” She said walking out into the darkness of the night to her car.
I did call her the next day to set up our first appointment which is scheduled for today. I got in touch with Bobbie a couple days after my first encounter with Nikki. Now that she and I are well off into our separate lives and careers we don’t have much time for one another now days. Every blue moon we get together for lunch just to catch up on times that have slipped by us. It is always an enjoyable occasion and a pleasure to see how successful my friend has become. However, this last occasion was quite different. Everything was going well until I mentioned her name. The name of the woman who seems to become more and more mysterious with every thought that she steals in my mind. When I spoke the name of Nikole Seasons you would’ve thought Bobbie had seen a ghost. Needless to say our lunch date was cut short that day. I am curious to know why and I will find out sooner than later.
It took her quite some time to warm up to me, and that is quite understandable, because I was a complete stranger. Here she was in my living room attempting to empty her mental space and place it in my hands. I told her to take her time and only share as much information with me that she felt comfortable to. There were a few moments of silence and during these times I took the time to look at her. She was indeed a well groomed woman; youthful with a sense of elegance that I hadn’t encountered before. There was no doubt that his woman took pride in herself and her appearance. I have known women like this to be someone who uses their physical beauty to cover up the mental bruises they portray. All those insecurities that lie within them. I could not help but to wonder would she be just like the rest of those women as I sate there tracing the frame of her perfectly sculptured body.
“I know you must think I’m crazy and I sincerely want to extend my apologies once again for showing up on such short notice.” She said with her eyes plastered to the pants of her white business suit. She looked up at me with such remorse and my heart instantly went out to her. “It’s just that lately I have been struggling with so many emotions that I knew if I didn’t talk to someone soon I would completely lose it.”
“Well, I am glad that you decided to speak to someone. Most people don’t recognize the dangers of stress and don’t act on their problems until something traumatic occurs. So kudos to you for that.” I sate there feeling so unprepared. I know I should have had my legal pad and recorder in front of me, but I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she already was. I would have to wing this one and depend on my memory alone. “So what exactly have you been struggling with lately Nikole? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“Oh Dr. Washington! My life has made a complete 360 in the past two months. Things weren’t perfect, but they were manageable. I had a wonderful career, a healthy bank account, a loving family, great friends, and the world was at my fingertips. I did not break when I lost the biggest case of my career. I didn’t break when my house burned down with everything that I owned inside. I didn’t break when my childhood friend of 31 years sexually assaulted and raped me. I didn’t break when I found out I was pregnant with his child. It wasn’t until my other half, my sanity, my identical twin took her life.” Tears were streaming down her face by this time. I felt a lump in my throat as well, because this was a ton of misery for just one person to take on.
I walked over to my fireplace and grabbed the box of Kleenex and handed them to her. “I can see how all of this would break you Nikole. I honestly wouldn’t know how to handle so much at one time myself. You prove to be a very strong woman.”
“I was raised to be strong and to never let anything or anyone cause me to fall on my face. I was taught that every hurdle can be jumped no matter how high. But when I walked into my sister’s condo and saw her hanging from the banister of her staircase, I fell flat on my face.” She wiped her nose and dried her face. “I lost it that day. And the world that I once had, ended.”
“I know that you mentioned you and your sister were close. Were you aware of any problems that she might’ve had that would make her take her life?” I asked, as I sat there marinating in my own guilt. I felt so selfish and horrible for what I was about to do one second before this woman knocked on my door. I sat there looking at how miserable she was. Look at how much sorrow was in her life now that her sister was gone. I couldn’t imagine taking my best friend and family through this type of pain.
“She was a free spirit. She lived her life on the edge and this was something that I was always envious of. I was the one who always had to have such a structured life and I worried about everything. She spent most of her days trying to get me to loosen up. That’s why I don’t understand why she would kill herself!” she laid her head on the back of my couch and stared at the ceiling for quite some time. I wanted to interject, but I decided against it. “Her and my parents didn’t get along. She always jokingly said that if she were to die, they wouldn’t care, because all they cared about was me anyway. I never took her seriously on this matter, because mom and dad loved her.”
“How do your parents feel now? What were their conditions after the…funeral?” Speaking of death with my clients was something that I wasn’t comfortable with. I was trained not to hesitate in any of my words and deliverance when dealing with clients, but sometimes it is hard. I took a deep breath and awaited her response.
“Well my mother was a wreck. I knew it was more guilt than anything. My dad didn’t show much emotion. He didn’t cry at her funeral, but when he speaks of her now the sorrow in which he feels seeps through his pores. I know they both feel bad for the relationship that they chose to have or not have with her, but now it’s too late.” She rubbed her stomach. “It’s too late for a lot of things…”
“Lots of things like what?” I asked.
“Once I finally came to grips with the fact that I had life growing inside of me, it was too late.” She started to cry again. “I hated that life at first. I selfishly only thought about me and I just knew that my career would be jeopardized because of this “curse” that was placed inside of me.” She shook her head back and forth. “He showed me. God has made me pay for my thoughts. He allowed me to grow to love the child within me and then He took it away from me!”
“Did you miscarriage?” I asked.
“Yes.” She said with a light chuckle. She dabbed her eyes dry again. “And here I was so worried about the baby ruining my career and I lost the biggest case of my career on my own!” She looked back up to the ceiling and yelled, “I hear you loud and clear! I get it!”
“Nikole, I don’t know if you are a religious woman, but I must say that I don’t believe God does anything to purposely hurt us. Things happen in our lives that are meant to teach us a lesson, but Satan is the cause of all evil. I don’t think that God took the lives of your sister and your unborn child.” I hope that I didn’t overstep the code of ethics by dabbling too much into the whole religion thing.
“Maybe you’re right. Perhaps all of this was just mapped into my life’s timeline and design. Who knows? I just want to know how the hell am I going to get through this one with all my marbles still accounted for, you know?” She rhetorically asked.
“Yes, I know. Like I said earlier, it is quite apparent that you are a very strong woman with a great deal of common sense. I know that this is indeed a very high hurdle to jump and I am here to help you whenever you need it. Don’t hesitate to call me when you feel the need to. Besides, any friend of Bobbi’s is a friend of mine”, I smiled at her hoping to bring some light into her world as impossible as I thought it was at the moment.
To my surprise she smiled back. “I do thank you again Dr. Washington for allowing me into your home and listening to me spill my guts.” She laughed. “I don’t want this to be the last time that we speak and I know that I will need more than just this one session.” She reached into her purse and handed me her business card. “Please give me a call at my office so that we can set up something more legit and professional so to speak. I know your services aren’t free. In fact, here you go.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. “Please take this, because I can’t leave here without paying you for just listening to me. You have no idea how much was lifted off of me just venting out to you.”
I pushed her hand away. “I will not accept your monies Nikole. You came here on behalf of a very dear friend of mine. I couldn’t possibly charge you for this. Let’s just consider this one on the house.” I winked as I got up from my love seat. “We will indeed set up regular appointments for you to attend at my office. Then I’ll have to take your money,” I laughed. We both headed for the door. “Well thank you for allowing me to listen to you today Nikole, and please expect my call sometime tomorrow afternoon.” I said opening the front door so she could depart.
“Please call me Nikki, Dr. Washington. I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” She said walking out into the darkness of the night to her car.
I did call her the next day to set up our first appointment which is scheduled for today. I got in touch with Bobbie a couple days after my first encounter with Nikki. Now that she and I are well off into our separate lives and careers we don’t have much time for one another now days. Every blue moon we get together for lunch just to catch up on times that have slipped by us. It is always an enjoyable occasion and a pleasure to see how successful my friend has become. However, this last occasion was quite different. Everything was going well until I mentioned her name. The name of the woman who seems to become more and more mysterious with every thought that she steals in my mind. When I spoke the name of Nikole Seasons you would’ve thought Bobbie had seen a ghost. Needless to say our lunch date was cut short that day. I am curious to know why and I will find out sooner than later.
The Cure Part II
Sara couldn’t function all week, because she was anticipating her first date with Michael Garner. So many questions ran through her head; what was she to wear? What was he going to wear? What movie were they going to see? What if he finds out he doesn’t like her after all? Her mind was indeed sending her on rollercoaster ride.
She was so excited about her big date that she decided to share the news with her big sister Janett, whom she secretly looked up to. Janett was the eldest and prettiest of all of her sisters and the smartest. In Sara’s eyes, Janett was the total package; the beauty and the brains. Even though she treated Sara like crap, she still valued her big sister’s opinion. “Hey Janett guess what?” Sara perked as she poked her head in her sister’s bedroom. She scanned around the room looking at all the boxes scattered on the floor. Sara wasn’t too thrilled that her big sister was moving out of the house to go live with her lame boyfriend. He claimed he wanted to keep his family in close quarters and that way he could be a better father to his son. Little did he know, just by them moving in with him would not make him a better father. Sara hated Jared, and she always made it a point to let him know that every time he came around. She was definitely going to miss her nephew though. She had gotten used to the little guy around the house; even if he did keep half the family up at all hours of the night.
Janett was sitting on her queen size bed rocking Jared Jr. to sleep. She looked up at Sara with disgust in her eyes. “What’s up?” She asked dryly.
Sara ignored her attitude as usual and proceeded to tell her the news. “I have a date on Friday night with this boy from my school named Michael Garner!” she exclaimed.
“Shhh! Can’t you see I’m trying to put the baby to sleep? Calm your little ass down girl.” She said rolling her eyes at her.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to share my exciting news with you and ask for some pointers on my first date, that’s all.” Sara said now sounding a little disappointed with her big sister’s unenthused response.
“Whatever, why on earth is this boy interested in you?” she asked.
“What do you mean? He likes me, I guess.”
“I mean why does he like you? He must be a nerd lover.” She laughed.
Sara didn’t find the insult funny. In fact, she found it to be quite hypocritical coming from someone who was just as smart as she was. Janett always denied the fact that she enjoyed school. She would sneak in her room to read books and do all of her extra credit projects. She dumbed herself down just so she wouldn’t be ridiculed for her intelligence. She even turned down a college scholarship and instead when on to get a cosmetology license. Soon thereafter she met Jared and got pregnant with Jared Jr.
“Look, just go out with him and have a good time. Don’t do anything stupid and if he tries anything stupid; knee him in the nuts”, she advised obviously seeing the look of hurt in Sara’s eyes.
“Thanks, do you think a nice blouse and some jeans would be okay to wear to the movies?” Sara inquired.
“Yes, that’ll be fine, being that you’re just going to the movies. Now get out of here so I can lay him down and finish packing.” She said getting up to put Jared Jr. in his crib.
“Alright, well thanks again Janett.” Sara closed her bedroom door and went down the hall to her own room. With so many people in the house, Sara managed to still have her own room. None of the other kids wanted to sleep in the same room with her, because they said she was weird and boring. This was another reason why she couldn’t wait to get out of the house and go away to school. She already had academic scholarship offers from three different major Universities. It was just a matter of picking which one. She hadn’t even bothered informing her parents yet, because she wanted to make her decision first. Just thinking about it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. She sat on her twin size bed and day dreamed about dorm life and all the new people she would meet that loved learning as much as she did. She couldn’t wait! As for that moment, she needed to figure out which outfit would be best for her date with Michael Garner.
“Sara pick up the telephone!” Janice yelled from behind her bedroom door.
Who could be calling her at this time? It was almost 9:00 p.m, and besides no one ever calls her other than Jackie. She knew that’s not who it was, because she was at her Wednesday night bible study. She slowly picked up the receiver of her telephone. “Hello, this is Sara,” she said. She heard Janice press the talk button on her cordless phone hanging up on her and whoever was on the other end of the line.
She had heard his voice hundreds of times at school, but she didn’t realize how deep it was until now. “Hey Sara”, Michael said.
“Hey.” Is all she managed to get out.
“This is Michael. I’m sorry for calling you so late, I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.” He said with a sense of sincerity.
“Oh no, you’re fine. My parents don’t trip too much about us talking on the phone as long as we’re off before midnight.” Which reminded her; she needed to go open her bedroom door, because that was also a rule. No talking on the phone with boys with the bedroom door closed. Mama said she had enough unexpected grandbabies already and she wasn’t trying to have anymore.
“Cool, so what are you up to?” he asked.
“Nothing much; just getting my clothes together for school in the morning,” she lied. She had finally decided on the perfect outfit for their date in a couple days. However, she didn’t want to seem too thirsty.
“Oh okay, I should probably start doing that too. Maybe it wouldn’t take so long to get ready in the mornings.” He laughed at himself. I could tell that he was someone who took much pride in his appearance. He was always coordinated with his outfits which caught the attention of a lot of ladies in our class. “Anyway, I decided to use your number, because I had a feeling you wouldn’t actually use mine.” He said.
He was right; she hadn’t planned on using his number. They had exchanged numbers earlier that week as a security in case anything came up before their date. She was a nervous wreck just talking to him in person; she sure wasn’t going to go out of her way to call him on the telephone. She let out a nervous laugh, “I didn’t know you were expecting a call from me.”
“I don’t expect anything, but I know how shy you are around me, so that’s why I just took it upon myself to make the first call.” He cleared his throat, “Besides, I had to check and see if we were still on for Friday. I didn’t see you around school today.” He said.
“Yeah, I was in the counselor’s office most of the day reviewing college admission material.” She said. “Oh, and to cure your curiosity, yes we still are on for Friday.”
“Oh yeah, I will have my turn with all that good stuff next week. And thank you for reassuring me. I am definitely looking forward to spending time with you.” There was a knock in his background that quickly grabbed his attention. Sara thanked God for whoever was knocking. “I have to get going Sara, but it sure was nice to hear your voice. I hope to see you tomorrow.” He said.
“Yes, you’ll see me tomorrow in class and it was nice talking to you as well. Have a good night.” She said.
“Thanks; you too.” He hung up the phone.
Sara replaced the receiver on its base. She got up to close her door when she saw her twin Brother Sean standing outside in the hall. He was the only boy, with the exception of their six month old baby brother still making his first impressions on the Gibbs household. Sara had heard so many stories about twins and how close they were, how they know what the other twin is feeling and so on and so forth, but her brother and she had never been close. She remembered having to be near by him, because of the simple fact that they were twins, but they were nothing alike. Their six sisters adored Sean and would do anything for him. He was definitely the household favorite. He was just like one of the girls and was not ashamed of it. His sexuality had been questioned plenty of times, but mama and the girls have made it clear that they will accept him no matter which gender he preferred. Daddy just ignores it whenever he is home; keeping his comments to himself. Her brother was obviously battling his sexuality and it has become more and more of an issue for him over the past year now. She’s heard the rumors at school and has even had to take up for him on multiple occasions even though she knew he wouldn’t do the same for her. Unlike the rest of the family, she realized that blood is thicker than water and she’d do anything for them.
Sara held the door and returned his glare, “What can I do for you Sean?” She asked.
He smacked his lips; which is something he always does before he says anything. “So I hear you’re going out on a date with Michael Garner.” He said with major attitude.
“As a matter of fact I am. What of it?”
“You’re stupid, that’s what’s of it.” He folded his arms in front of his bare chest.
“And how am I stupid Sean? I really am sick of you and everybody else’s attitude around here toward me. I’m not asking anyone to be happy for me or even give a damn for that matter, but I really don’t have to put up with your shit.” She stated getting a little heated.
“No you don’t have to take our shit, but you have all of your damn life. Why stop now? He stepped closer to her as if he might swing on her. “Don’t let this so called date with Michael Garner gas you up too much sweetie.” He said.
Sara took a step back, “Whatever Sean” she sad as she slammed the door in his face.
“Don’t get mad Sara and don’t say I didn’t try to warn you. Michael Garner is the biggest locker room homo in the school! Good luck with that twin sis!” He laughed as he went back to his room and slammed the door.
Did she just hear him correctly? Michael Garner is homosexual? A locker room homosexual? She didn’t know exactly what that meant, but she decided to ignore Sean’s weak attempts to ruffle her feathers. Sara stretched out on her bed and resumed her day dream about their date and the possible sexual endeavors that could arise. If Michael Garner was a homosexual, she definitely had the cure for it.
She was so excited about her big date that she decided to share the news with her big sister Janett, whom she secretly looked up to. Janett was the eldest and prettiest of all of her sisters and the smartest. In Sara’s eyes, Janett was the total package; the beauty and the brains. Even though she treated Sara like crap, she still valued her big sister’s opinion. “Hey Janett guess what?” Sara perked as she poked her head in her sister’s bedroom. She scanned around the room looking at all the boxes scattered on the floor. Sara wasn’t too thrilled that her big sister was moving out of the house to go live with her lame boyfriend. He claimed he wanted to keep his family in close quarters and that way he could be a better father to his son. Little did he know, just by them moving in with him would not make him a better father. Sara hated Jared, and she always made it a point to let him know that every time he came around. She was definitely going to miss her nephew though. She had gotten used to the little guy around the house; even if he did keep half the family up at all hours of the night.
Janett was sitting on her queen size bed rocking Jared Jr. to sleep. She looked up at Sara with disgust in her eyes. “What’s up?” She asked dryly.
Sara ignored her attitude as usual and proceeded to tell her the news. “I have a date on Friday night with this boy from my school named Michael Garner!” she exclaimed.
“Shhh! Can’t you see I’m trying to put the baby to sleep? Calm your little ass down girl.” She said rolling her eyes at her.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to share my exciting news with you and ask for some pointers on my first date, that’s all.” Sara said now sounding a little disappointed with her big sister’s unenthused response.
“Whatever, why on earth is this boy interested in you?” she asked.
“What do you mean? He likes me, I guess.”
“I mean why does he like you? He must be a nerd lover.” She laughed.
Sara didn’t find the insult funny. In fact, she found it to be quite hypocritical coming from someone who was just as smart as she was. Janett always denied the fact that she enjoyed school. She would sneak in her room to read books and do all of her extra credit projects. She dumbed herself down just so she wouldn’t be ridiculed for her intelligence. She even turned down a college scholarship and instead when on to get a cosmetology license. Soon thereafter she met Jared and got pregnant with Jared Jr.
“Look, just go out with him and have a good time. Don’t do anything stupid and if he tries anything stupid; knee him in the nuts”, she advised obviously seeing the look of hurt in Sara’s eyes.
“Thanks, do you think a nice blouse and some jeans would be okay to wear to the movies?” Sara inquired.
“Yes, that’ll be fine, being that you’re just going to the movies. Now get out of here so I can lay him down and finish packing.” She said getting up to put Jared Jr. in his crib.
“Alright, well thanks again Janett.” Sara closed her bedroom door and went down the hall to her own room. With so many people in the house, Sara managed to still have her own room. None of the other kids wanted to sleep in the same room with her, because they said she was weird and boring. This was another reason why she couldn’t wait to get out of the house and go away to school. She already had academic scholarship offers from three different major Universities. It was just a matter of picking which one. She hadn’t even bothered informing her parents yet, because she wanted to make her decision first. Just thinking about it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. She sat on her twin size bed and day dreamed about dorm life and all the new people she would meet that loved learning as much as she did. She couldn’t wait! As for that moment, she needed to figure out which outfit would be best for her date with Michael Garner.
“Sara pick up the telephone!” Janice yelled from behind her bedroom door.
Who could be calling her at this time? It was almost 9:00 p.m, and besides no one ever calls her other than Jackie. She knew that’s not who it was, because she was at her Wednesday night bible study. She slowly picked up the receiver of her telephone. “Hello, this is Sara,” she said. She heard Janice press the talk button on her cordless phone hanging up on her and whoever was on the other end of the line.
She had heard his voice hundreds of times at school, but she didn’t realize how deep it was until now. “Hey Sara”, Michael said.
“Hey.” Is all she managed to get out.
“This is Michael. I’m sorry for calling you so late, I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.” He said with a sense of sincerity.
“Oh no, you’re fine. My parents don’t trip too much about us talking on the phone as long as we’re off before midnight.” Which reminded her; she needed to go open her bedroom door, because that was also a rule. No talking on the phone with boys with the bedroom door closed. Mama said she had enough unexpected grandbabies already and she wasn’t trying to have anymore.
“Cool, so what are you up to?” he asked.
“Nothing much; just getting my clothes together for school in the morning,” she lied. She had finally decided on the perfect outfit for their date in a couple days. However, she didn’t want to seem too thirsty.
“Oh okay, I should probably start doing that too. Maybe it wouldn’t take so long to get ready in the mornings.” He laughed at himself. I could tell that he was someone who took much pride in his appearance. He was always coordinated with his outfits which caught the attention of a lot of ladies in our class. “Anyway, I decided to use your number, because I had a feeling you wouldn’t actually use mine.” He said.
He was right; she hadn’t planned on using his number. They had exchanged numbers earlier that week as a security in case anything came up before their date. She was a nervous wreck just talking to him in person; she sure wasn’t going to go out of her way to call him on the telephone. She let out a nervous laugh, “I didn’t know you were expecting a call from me.”
“I don’t expect anything, but I know how shy you are around me, so that’s why I just took it upon myself to make the first call.” He cleared his throat, “Besides, I had to check and see if we were still on for Friday. I didn’t see you around school today.” He said.
“Yeah, I was in the counselor’s office most of the day reviewing college admission material.” She said. “Oh, and to cure your curiosity, yes we still are on for Friday.”
“Oh yeah, I will have my turn with all that good stuff next week. And thank you for reassuring me. I am definitely looking forward to spending time with you.” There was a knock in his background that quickly grabbed his attention. Sara thanked God for whoever was knocking. “I have to get going Sara, but it sure was nice to hear your voice. I hope to see you tomorrow.” He said.
“Yes, you’ll see me tomorrow in class and it was nice talking to you as well. Have a good night.” She said.
“Thanks; you too.” He hung up the phone.
Sara replaced the receiver on its base. She got up to close her door when she saw her twin Brother Sean standing outside in the hall. He was the only boy, with the exception of their six month old baby brother still making his first impressions on the Gibbs household. Sara had heard so many stories about twins and how close they were, how they know what the other twin is feeling and so on and so forth, but her brother and she had never been close. She remembered having to be near by him, because of the simple fact that they were twins, but they were nothing alike. Their six sisters adored Sean and would do anything for him. He was definitely the household favorite. He was just like one of the girls and was not ashamed of it. His sexuality had been questioned plenty of times, but mama and the girls have made it clear that they will accept him no matter which gender he preferred. Daddy just ignores it whenever he is home; keeping his comments to himself. Her brother was obviously battling his sexuality and it has become more and more of an issue for him over the past year now. She’s heard the rumors at school and has even had to take up for him on multiple occasions even though she knew he wouldn’t do the same for her. Unlike the rest of the family, she realized that blood is thicker than water and she’d do anything for them.
Sara held the door and returned his glare, “What can I do for you Sean?” She asked.
He smacked his lips; which is something he always does before he says anything. “So I hear you’re going out on a date with Michael Garner.” He said with major attitude.
“As a matter of fact I am. What of it?”
“You’re stupid, that’s what’s of it.” He folded his arms in front of his bare chest.
“And how am I stupid Sean? I really am sick of you and everybody else’s attitude around here toward me. I’m not asking anyone to be happy for me or even give a damn for that matter, but I really don’t have to put up with your shit.” She stated getting a little heated.
“No you don’t have to take our shit, but you have all of your damn life. Why stop now? He stepped closer to her as if he might swing on her. “Don’t let this so called date with Michael Garner gas you up too much sweetie.” He said.
Sara took a step back, “Whatever Sean” she sad as she slammed the door in his face.
“Don’t get mad Sara and don’t say I didn’t try to warn you. Michael Garner is the biggest locker room homo in the school! Good luck with that twin sis!” He laughed as he went back to his room and slammed the door.
Did she just hear him correctly? Michael Garner is homosexual? A locker room homosexual? She didn’t know exactly what that meant, but she decided to ignore Sean’s weak attempts to ruffle her feathers. Sara stretched out on her bed and resumed her day dream about their date and the possible sexual endeavors that could arise. If Michael Garner was a homosexual, she definitely had the cure for it.
Published by T. Nicole: W0rd Hustlin' Inc copyright © 2007-2008
Nikki Part II
Why can't things ever go my way when it comes to love? Why can't I meet the perfect woman for me? Who am I fooling? I realize that nobody is perfect, but damn for the past ten years of my life I have been striking out big time when it comes to the so called department of love. I have been walked on, spit on, cheated on, and taken full advantage of; I am truly sick of it. Am I under some type of evil curse? I know that I'm not an easy woman to get along with, but give me a break! Somebody is bound to be out there that knows how to handle a woman like me. I thought I found her, especially after I gave her the best part of me; which was my everything!
"Don't worry yourself to death about this Denise. You are much too strong of a woman to be sulking behind some lost love". This, coming from the mouth of my best friend of twelve years. Cassandra has been in my corner through thick and thin. Every good and bad point in my life, she was there. So her opinion is one that I value very deeply, but she was also the most cynical person I knew as well. She has never been in love unconditionally. So her opinion on this matter was biased. "Why are people so hung up on love anyway?" she asked. "I mean, if you ask me, love highly overrated. My heart is much too valuable to be giving it away all willy nilly"! she exclaimed.
"Cassie please! This is not what I need right now. I really just want to be depressed in peace. I gave this woman the past seven years of my life and for her to just walk away as if I were nothing makes me feel like crap. So if you'll excuse me, I need to be alone." I said, attempting to give her an invitation out of my house. When she found out that Kelli had left me earlier that day, she hurried to be by my side, equipped with cheesecake and a big tub of French vanilla Blue Bell ice cream. Whenever we suffer from any type of heartache, we retreat to our Golden Girl therapy session. Cassie truly did know how to cheer me up and I appreciate all of her attempts today, but it's just not working this time. Stick a fork in me, because Denise Washington is finally done.
"So you're kicking me out?" she asked obviously catching on to my hint.
"Yeah girl I'm sorry, but I'm just not in the mood to talk anymore." I said getting up from my favorite cream colored recliner.
"Well due to the circumstances, I will show you empathy and leave you be, but you better call me the moment you feel up to talking to me. Okay?" she was already at the door waiting for my response. I smiled slightly, because my friend is such a beautiful woman. I loved everything about her; I just couldn't help but to smile every time I was in her presence. Sometimes I hated that she had that effect on me.
"Okay, I promise." We exchanged hugs and kisses on the cheek and she was gone. When I closed my front door my world started to shrink by the millisecond. I knew that it was taking all of me to keep my composure in front of Cassie, and I am glad she left when she did, because I couldn't hold it any longer. I broke down to my knees right in the foyer of my little two story red brick home. My heart was aching something terrible and I thought for a moment that I might be having a heart attack. I grabbed my chest as it tightened and I began to sweat profusely. At that point I didn't care if I died or not, so I didn't bother thinking about dialing 911. What was the point of me living? The love of my life was gone with no good reason at all. She was my everything and my life is nothing without her. No one would really care if I were to leave this earth today. My place in this world is non-existent. I literally felt my heart breaking in two as I crawled to my kitchen leaving a trail of my sweat and tears behind me. My daddy always told me as a beautiful young woman living alone, I should keep protection. So I kept crawling until I reached the drawer where I stored that source of protection. I felt around until my fingertips came into contact with the cold steel of a .38 Smith and Wesson.
I felt the sharp impression the handle of my bottom cabinet was making in the small of my back. I gripped the steel that was now in my lap. "How could she do this to me?!" I screamed out loud. "She will feel pain when she finds out that my brains are blown all over my kitchen floor because of her." I double checked to see if I actually had bullets to even prove this point I was determined to make. I think I saw one, but it's hard to tell with these tears blurring my vision. Fuck it. All signs say go. I thought about writing a note, but if I did, that would cause everyone to think I did it for attention. That is not the case, because this world is truly better off without me in it. I guess love won the war. My apologies go out to my best friend, my parents and to God, because I know this will indeed give me a one way ticket to hell. However, if that is where home is, then I am ready to reside.
I shivered at the feeling of the icy barrel against my temple. I shut my eyes tightly and fingered the trigger. I was getting ready to squeeze when I heard a bang on my front door, which scared the hell out of me. I slowly opened my eyes. "This is so not the time", I said. Apparently a person can't commit suicide in peace now days without interruption. I heard the bang again; only this time it was louder. The only reason I wanted to get the door is because I thought it might be Cassie coming back for something she'd forgotten. Being that she has the key and could just walk in; I didn't want her to catch me in the act, so I eased the gun back in the drawer and got up from the floor. I cut through the living room and glanced out the window for her car, but the shiny black cutlass supreme sitting in my driveway didn't belong to Cassie.
"Who is it?" I asked tip toeing up to the peephole. Oddly I didn't see anyone; neither did I get an answer. I opened the door and what was a sunny day, was now a dark and gloomy day. I felt a cold gust of wind enter into my home when she appeared. She was breath taking and seemed to make the world stop spinning with her smile.
"I'm sorry, I'm looking for Denise Washington. Is this her residence?" she asked with such politeness.
"I'm Denise Washington," finally regaining control over my vocal cords.
She took a few steps closer and extended her right hand toward me, "I do apologize for stopping by under such urgent circumstances, but I was referred to you by a friend of mine and I need to talk to you." Her hand was still hanging untouched in the air waiting for my acceptance.
I was dumbfounded when I finally grabbed her hand. With my line of work, I get these kinds of encounters all of the time, but never have any of my clients been as stunning as she. "What is your name"? I asked out of curiosity.
I felt her fingers tighten around my hand causing me to look directly into her sandy colored eyes. I suddenly became lost in some sort of trance when she whispered, "You can just call me Nikki."
"Don't worry yourself to death about this Denise. You are much too strong of a woman to be sulking behind some lost love". This, coming from the mouth of my best friend of twelve years. Cassandra has been in my corner through thick and thin. Every good and bad point in my life, she was there. So her opinion is one that I value very deeply, but she was also the most cynical person I knew as well. She has never been in love unconditionally. So her opinion on this matter was biased. "Why are people so hung up on love anyway?" she asked. "I mean, if you ask me, love highly overrated. My heart is much too valuable to be giving it away all willy nilly"! she exclaimed.
"Cassie please! This is not what I need right now. I really just want to be depressed in peace. I gave this woman the past seven years of my life and for her to just walk away as if I were nothing makes me feel like crap. So if you'll excuse me, I need to be alone." I said, attempting to give her an invitation out of my house. When she found out that Kelli had left me earlier that day, she hurried to be by my side, equipped with cheesecake and a big tub of French vanilla Blue Bell ice cream. Whenever we suffer from any type of heartache, we retreat to our Golden Girl therapy session. Cassie truly did know how to cheer me up and I appreciate all of her attempts today, but it's just not working this time. Stick a fork in me, because Denise Washington is finally done.
"So you're kicking me out?" she asked obviously catching on to my hint.
"Yeah girl I'm sorry, but I'm just not in the mood to talk anymore." I said getting up from my favorite cream colored recliner.
"Well due to the circumstances, I will show you empathy and leave you be, but you better call me the moment you feel up to talking to me. Okay?" she was already at the door waiting for my response. I smiled slightly, because my friend is such a beautiful woman. I loved everything about her; I just couldn't help but to smile every time I was in her presence. Sometimes I hated that she had that effect on me.
"Okay, I promise." We exchanged hugs and kisses on the cheek and she was gone. When I closed my front door my world started to shrink by the millisecond. I knew that it was taking all of me to keep my composure in front of Cassie, and I am glad she left when she did, because I couldn't hold it any longer. I broke down to my knees right in the foyer of my little two story red brick home. My heart was aching something terrible and I thought for a moment that I might be having a heart attack. I grabbed my chest as it tightened and I began to sweat profusely. At that point I didn't care if I died or not, so I didn't bother thinking about dialing 911. What was the point of me living? The love of my life was gone with no good reason at all. She was my everything and my life is nothing without her. No one would really care if I were to leave this earth today. My place in this world is non-existent. I literally felt my heart breaking in two as I crawled to my kitchen leaving a trail of my sweat and tears behind me. My daddy always told me as a beautiful young woman living alone, I should keep protection. So I kept crawling until I reached the drawer where I stored that source of protection. I felt around until my fingertips came into contact with the cold steel of a .38 Smith and Wesson.
I felt the sharp impression the handle of my bottom cabinet was making in the small of my back. I gripped the steel that was now in my lap. "How could she do this to me?!" I screamed out loud. "She will feel pain when she finds out that my brains are blown all over my kitchen floor because of her." I double checked to see if I actually had bullets to even prove this point I was determined to make. I think I saw one, but it's hard to tell with these tears blurring my vision. Fuck it. All signs say go. I thought about writing a note, but if I did, that would cause everyone to think I did it for attention. That is not the case, because this world is truly better off without me in it. I guess love won the war. My apologies go out to my best friend, my parents and to God, because I know this will indeed give me a one way ticket to hell. However, if that is where home is, then I am ready to reside.
I shivered at the feeling of the icy barrel against my temple. I shut my eyes tightly and fingered the trigger. I was getting ready to squeeze when I heard a bang on my front door, which scared the hell out of me. I slowly opened my eyes. "This is so not the time", I said. Apparently a person can't commit suicide in peace now days without interruption. I heard the bang again; only this time it was louder. The only reason I wanted to get the door is because I thought it might be Cassie coming back for something she'd forgotten. Being that she has the key and could just walk in; I didn't want her to catch me in the act, so I eased the gun back in the drawer and got up from the floor. I cut through the living room and glanced out the window for her car, but the shiny black cutlass supreme sitting in my driveway didn't belong to Cassie.
"Who is it?" I asked tip toeing up to the peephole. Oddly I didn't see anyone; neither did I get an answer. I opened the door and what was a sunny day, was now a dark and gloomy day. I felt a cold gust of wind enter into my home when she appeared. She was breath taking and seemed to make the world stop spinning with her smile.
"I'm sorry, I'm looking for Denise Washington. Is this her residence?" she asked with such politeness.
"I'm Denise Washington," finally regaining control over my vocal cords.
She took a few steps closer and extended her right hand toward me, "I do apologize for stopping by under such urgent circumstances, but I was referred to you by a friend of mine and I need to talk to you." Her hand was still hanging untouched in the air waiting for my acceptance.
I was dumbfounded when I finally grabbed her hand. With my line of work, I get these kinds of encounters all of the time, but never have any of my clients been as stunning as she. "What is your name"? I asked out of curiosity.
I felt her fingers tighten around my hand causing me to look directly into her sandy colored eyes. I suddenly became lost in some sort of trance when she whispered, "You can just call me Nikki."
The Cure Part I
She couldn't believe how long it's been since she graduated from college, Sara thought as she thumbed through her old college yearbook. The faint scent of roses entered her nostrils. She looked around the room took in the beautiful sight of all the gorgeous arrangements, balloons and stuffed animals. A "Get well soon Sis" banner draped across foot of her bed. Sara didn't know how long she'd been here there that time. Going by the wilting of some of the roses, she estimated that it had to have been a few days since she'd been admitted. She didn't want to think about it though, at least she was up and breathing. To top it off, she felt pretty good too. She narrowed her attention back on the yearbook that lay in her lap. It indeed had been over six years since she walked across that long stage in front of 13,000 eager parents, grandparents, husbands, wives, children and other graduate supporters. That was a day she never thought she'd see.
Sara Gibbs was the middle child of 9 brothers and sisters. Her baby sister Janice teases her still to this day, calling her the "invisible one". Of course Sara never found any humor in the joke. In fact, she only found it insulting and hurtful, because it was true in her eyes. She was invisible. All of her childhood, her parents managed to look over her; devoting all of their time and attention to her younger and older siblings. Although she was the middle child, she was still the last to receive anything in her household. Needless to say, by the end of her high school years, Sara picked the furthest school away from home to attend. She made sure that she stayed on her tip top when it came to academics, because she knew she wouldn't have a shot at a scholarship in any type of athletics. Constantly buried in her books, day in and day out; she managed not to get pregnant like all four of her sisters did. In fact, she hadn't experienced anything intimate with a boy until her 11th grade year of high school.
His name was Michael Garner. Sara knew that he had a crush on her since their 9th grade year. She was made quite aware of that by her best friend Jacqueline Banks. "Girl, when are you going to give Michael the time of day?" she would whisper to her in their study hall class. Michael was in the same class with the two of them and sat 3 rows back. Sometimes Sara would turn around and catch Michael starring at her with a grin on his face every time their eyes met. She'd just quickly turn back around and lower her head into whatever subject she chose to study that day. "It's no secret that the boy has the hots for you Sara! Stop being a stuck up bitch and live a little!" Jackie was always trying to get her involved in some crazy adventure. It's funny how the two of them ended up being such close friends, because they are extremely different. Apparently there is some truth to the meaning that 'opposites do attract'.
By the end of their junior year in school, Sara decided to respond to one of the many letters passed up to her during their study hall class. After some major jabbing from Jackie, Sara thought she better respond, before she ended up in the hospital with a fractured rib. She opened the letter and silently read his words.
Dear Sara,
This is my 22nd attempt to get your attention. None of my letters have said the same thing twice, because I try to be as sincere and genuine as I possibly can. Everyday I sit and I study you. I know that may sound a bit odd, but I just am totally wrapped up in the girl of my dreams. You're so smart and are nothing like these chicks running around the school. I just want to be close to you one time, even if it's long enough to sniff your sweet smelling scent. You know the summer melon scent? Oh, I love the way that smells on you. However, that only compliments your beauty.
Okay, enough of my flattering ways. I don't know how strict your parents are, but if you are able to, I'd like to take you out to the movies one evening. I promise I won't do anything to disrespect you or make you feel any discomfort. I'm not the begging type of guy, but my mama always says; that if I want something bad enough, I can bend my rules just a little bit and set my pride aside. So Miss. Sara Gibbs, please go out with me. If you say no, I promise to never bother you again and return back to my dreams until they fade away.
Write me back,
Mike
"What did it say?!" Jackie tried her best to keep her whisper as low as she possibly could. She didn't succeed. It was obvious that everyone heard her, especially when she heard a loud tapping sound coming from Mrs. Kentworth's ruler. She always did that when we got too loud. Jackie lowered her whisper where only Sara could hear, "It must've been something good since you are turning bright red", she giggled and eased Michael's letter out of my hand. She read it and even started to blush herself. "I told you so! You need to respond this time, and say YES!" she exclaimed.
Sara quietly tore out a blank page from her spiral notebook. She didn't know exactly what her response would be, but she did however know she was going to give Michael Garner a chance. No boy has ever gone to such great lengths to gather her attention and she was indeed flattered to the highest degree. Jackie had described to her a feeling on multiple occasions, but Sara had never experienced it. Now she knew exactly what Jackie meant when she referred to "the throbbing". Michael Garner has moistened a place that Sara has never felt moistened before and she liked it.
Dear Michael,
I really don't know what to say. I suppose a thank you is in order. I'll just keep this short so I can save myself the possible embarrassment. I appreciate your words and I can admit that I've never had anyone express anything like that to me before. For that simple fact, the answer is yes. I would love to accompany you to the movies one evening. My parents are not strict at all, in fact they won't even know I'm gone. *smile* So we can make further plans after class if that is okay with you. Talk to you later Michael.
Sara
Michael and Sara did talk after class that day and that mist in between her legs quickly turned into a slow drip when she left his side. That was the first time she inhaled his scent and she became intoxicated from it. She couldn't wait until one week from that day when they would go out on their first date. Wait, was it a date? She thought it was, because she's never been alone with the opposite sex before. Only in her own dreams had she thought of holding hands, kissing and rubbing against a boy. Now she had a face to paste on the boy in her dreams. That week Sara found out what great pleasures came from touching her own body. She was highly anticipating her first time alone with Michael Garner; the first boy of her dreams.
Published by: W0rd Hustlin' Inc © 2007-2008
Nikki Part I
I knew that she needed me the moment I stepped foot into her life. She was a creature of a different species. Only one person could balance her the way that she needed. She needed a life saver, a confidence booster, an ego caresser, and that person was me. I was not meant to be in her life until the end of time. I didn’t know how long I was supposed to be visible to the eye, how long my footprints would stretch across her brain, or how long my scent would linger in her world. I was not in this for love and affection; I was in this as a simple favor. Instead of keeping me as just her cushion for comfort, she made me fall in love with her. Every time she sent me away packing, she drug me back into her life at her selfish convenience. When will my contract end? How long do I have to baby-sit her insecurities and hold her hand through everything she doesn’t want to walk through alone? I have to find a way to escape her grip. My duty calls elsewhere. I have another life to save.
For now I am here with her. Things have been pretty bumpy since we met. Our emotional love rollercoaster is an unpredictable one. There are times when I am a part of her everyday routine. Not a night goes by that I am not in her arms. Then there are times when months can go by and she doesn’t think of me or let my name slip from her tongue. I am forgotten and I am not needed. Things are different with her. Normally when I am neglected, I don’t let it phase me, because I know that it comes along with the occupation description. This time I feel something. Could it be what they call jealousy? I know I’ve made many enemies that have wanted to gut me like a fish, because I felt these certain individuals were getting too close to her heart. All I do is laugh, because no harm can be done to something you can’t touch right? Ha; the jokes on them. I know it and she knows it. I am a skeleton in her closet that only comes out when the time is right.
“Who is she?” is what the outsiders ask time and time again. “When can I meet her?” is what they desire after my presence is accepted. "How come she is never around?” is what they wonder. So who am I? I am whatever the insiders want me to be. Just like everyone else, I have a story. It’s said that I grew up in a normal household. Raised by two loving parents with a healthy marriage. Daddy had more money than one could imagine and mama had more imagination than that one just mentioned. My life has been labeled as perfect; personality, body, face, career, salary, home and friends. I am perfect. I couldn’t mess up if I tried, because I am what they make me. My life is lived on strings and they are my puppet masters. My background only goes back so far, perhaps my next encounter will add on to my pencil written story. So many of my memories have been erased; from siblings, to pets, to lifestyles, to religions. Although I have been stable for the past three years, who knows when my strings will be snipped and I’ll have to hop in my cutlass supreme and drift into the next world.
There is just one thing stopping me. I have been trying to figure it out for quite some time now. I have been having this annoying thumping, burning and eerie feeling in my chest. It starts to hurt every time I think about leaving. The pain seems too much to bear. When I think of her leaving me, I get angry. I do things that I know aren’t right. My mind is telling me to go and that it has been time to go; for she is happy now. My job is done. But that thumper in my chest is telling me to stay and I will let all hell break loose if she tries to stray.
Oh, what’s my name? Well I’ve gone by many and have stolen the identities of plenty, but she calls me “Nikki”.
For now I am here with her. Things have been pretty bumpy since we met. Our emotional love rollercoaster is an unpredictable one. There are times when I am a part of her everyday routine. Not a night goes by that I am not in her arms. Then there are times when months can go by and she doesn’t think of me or let my name slip from her tongue. I am forgotten and I am not needed. Things are different with her. Normally when I am neglected, I don’t let it phase me, because I know that it comes along with the occupation description. This time I feel something. Could it be what they call jealousy? I know I’ve made many enemies that have wanted to gut me like a fish, because I felt these certain individuals were getting too close to her heart. All I do is laugh, because no harm can be done to something you can’t touch right? Ha; the jokes on them. I know it and she knows it. I am a skeleton in her closet that only comes out when the time is right.
“Who is she?” is what the outsiders ask time and time again. “When can I meet her?” is what they desire after my presence is accepted. "How come she is never around?” is what they wonder. So who am I? I am whatever the insiders want me to be. Just like everyone else, I have a story. It’s said that I grew up in a normal household. Raised by two loving parents with a healthy marriage. Daddy had more money than one could imagine and mama had more imagination than that one just mentioned. My life has been labeled as perfect; personality, body, face, career, salary, home and friends. I am perfect. I couldn’t mess up if I tried, because I am what they make me. My life is lived on strings and they are my puppet masters. My background only goes back so far, perhaps my next encounter will add on to my pencil written story. So many of my memories have been erased; from siblings, to pets, to lifestyles, to religions. Although I have been stable for the past three years, who knows when my strings will be snipped and I’ll have to hop in my cutlass supreme and drift into the next world.
There is just one thing stopping me. I have been trying to figure it out for quite some time now. I have been having this annoying thumping, burning and eerie feeling in my chest. It starts to hurt every time I think about leaving. The pain seems too much to bear. When I think of her leaving me, I get angry. I do things that I know aren’t right. My mind is telling me to go and that it has been time to go; for she is happy now. My job is done. But that thumper in my chest is telling me to stay and I will let all hell break loose if she tries to stray.
Oh, what’s my name? Well I’ve gone by many and have stolen the identities of plenty, but she calls me “Nikki”.
Published by: W0rd Hustlin' Inc © 2007-2008
The Reason
The W0rd HustlerI've had a lot of people ask me, why do I call myself The W0rd Hustler? Everyone has their hustle, whether it be legal or illegal. Some people cook, sew, paint, dope pusher, designer purse pusher, Avon pusher, MaryKay pusher; whatever pays the bills and satisfies their desire. This writing thing is my passion, the reason I am sane today; it is my HUSTLE. I've said it before and I'm going to say it again; ink is my blood and paper is my soul! Put them both together and you just might imagine what it feels like to walk in the shoes of T. Nicole.
So what better way to show these individuals the reason behind my name? I've decided to create a new blog devoted solely to my work. There will be a collection of my short stories and online eBook series. If you're at work, school or just at the house relaxing; check out my work. Escape from your everyday struggles and anxieties. Allow me to take you on a journey with my words; love, suspense, erotica, fantasy, physco thrillers and more. I welcome all readers!
So let's get this show on the road, shall we? Now that you know The Reason behind the name, sit back and enjoy the writings of The W0rd Hustler.
So what better way to show these individuals the reason behind my name? I've decided to create a new blog devoted solely to my work. There will be a collection of my short stories and online eBook series. If you're at work, school or just at the house relaxing; check out my work. Escape from your everyday struggles and anxieties. Allow me to take you on a journey with my words; love, suspense, erotica, fantasy, physco thrillers and more. I welcome all readers!
So let's get this show on the road, shall we? Now that you know The Reason behind the name, sit back and enjoy the writings of The W0rd Hustler.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
