Acquiescence

Waving the white flag

surrendering to my thoughts

In complete submission to you

A victory you win over and over again

I wish you’d collect your prize already

And leave

But I surrender

Distance has no space

Time has no tick

Submerged in numbing tranquility

A silence so piercing

totally blinding the mind’s eye

I wish you’d feel this pain I feel

And leave

But I surrender

Fill my mind with your ever being

Overflow my eyes with your beauty

Replay every memory shared with you

Over and over

Again and again

Fill me up with the lies

Because you know the truth kills me

Please don’t leave

I surrender

This white flag I wave

Stained with the blood of my heart

All I have are these memories

Living vicariously through these fantasies

I surrender to every thought of you

Painfully indulged in silent … acquiescence

Copyright © 2011 T. Nicole

A Liberated Destiny

Now boarding the freedom train.

In the musical bliss of Coltrane.
Growth sprouting from my pain.
Clear sunny skies & no rain.
To remain shackled…

Would be a damn shame!

These past couple of days have been clear and breezy, like a bright sunny day. My mind surprisingly didn’t have a cloud in sight. It’s like my heart caught a severe case of amnesia, and appeared to be everything less than heavy. Simply put, I feel good. This is, despite the constant troubles of the world we live in today. Respect and peace to Troy Davis, by the way. But “ain’t nobody worryin’” right? RIGHT. Smh.

I feel like I’d been up for parole, and my release date came EARLY. Being psychologically and emotionally shackled can shake the soul and damage the body in more ways than one. “Slowly, surely I walk away from” & enough is enough! As fucked up as the world is; it’s still a sight to see! It’s constantly turning, and it has been doing so without me! I’m trying to maintain a humble sprit on this slow journey to freedom, but I’m so close, I can taste it. & it tastes G O O D !

Just call me Harriet Tubman, because I got my ticket & I’m riding one deep on this FREEDOM TRAIN!

Pushing The Pride Aside

Like a newborn fresh out the womb
its your nourishment I need to consume
in mass quantities
a food for the soul that lasts forever
you're my teacher
and its your knowledge I treasure
In your opinions I hold utmost respect
to voice such I tend to neglect
a lifetime difficulty to overcome I have tried
many tears of frustration I have cried
what seems to be the hardest thing to do
is push my pride aside



Daily Couples: Brought to you from Yahoo!


You don't usually stress too much about getting ahead in the world, but you may be feeling those concerns now. Reassurance is there in the form of your sweetie, but they won't know you need it unless you ask.

My pride has always been a very big issue for me. It's hard to bend a person like me. I'm very stubborn and stuck in my ways like none other. It's in my genetic pool. From my great parents to my grand parents, and on to my parents. Puffed up with pride. We have to do everything by ourselves and in our way. Pride is an honorable trait to obtain, but to have too much of it can be a bad thing. You start to hurt those around you to protect your own ego.


Sometimes we forget that the people in our corner need our help in order to help us. We automatically expect them to know what's going on inside of us, and this is not fair to them. They only can support so much going off what we have communicated to them. When big changes come around in life; brining on extra stress, we sometimes lash out on the people who are closest to us. They only thing they are guilty of is trying to help as much as they can. If they don't say or do what we EXPECT them to do; we take major offense to it. Stopping and thinking about the situation; did you really voice what you needed from them? Or did you think they could read what's on the inside of you and automatically save your day? I am OH SO GUILTY of this.

Putting your pride aside, and asking your mate for help when needed is not a bad thing. It's a very good thing. It also shows your mate that you respect and trust them. To feel needed in a loving relationship is a very good feeling. This is one publish where I have to seriously practice what I preach. Ha! Just ask my mate!

Absolute Exception

She Got Me Going (Absolute Exception)

My life is in extreme high definition
My lady, my love with no definition
My heart doesn't need any explanation
My yesterdays are in no comparison
to what is going on in my present
do I dwell on the future?
My dreams are constant in pure perfection
Her face is what I see when I look in my heart's reflection
I'm gone
So far gone,
Every rule of mine she bypassed with absolute exception

Love has not been on my side
I'm scared
Terrified of it's past deception
There is no guide, manual or list of instruction
It's all up to my discretion
Good riddance to my hesitation
I'm gone
So far gone
Every rule of mine she bypassed with absolute exception

My mind clouded with fear
My eyes full of tears
Still I stay focused on our destination
My heart is one step ahead of the game
Dialed out and made that reservation
Table for two under the stars
our beauty overcast by candle light
Staring at the best things made under God's creation
I'm gone
So far gone
Every rule of mine she bypassed with absolute exception

I do not speak the language of forever

I speak in the language of logic
In the name of reality
I fight against love to keep my sanity
You're now apart of my knowledge

Something I'll never forget
Our hearts clocks are set
Ticking
Waiting
Bracing
Hoping that this love bomb never offsets
But it will
Will we survive the blast
Will you be a mere thing of my past
Will the healing process be slow or fast
I'll hold your hand even through the crash
If we part
It's because you let go
Don't let go
We're gone
So far gone
Every rule we've bypassed with absolute exception

Published by: T. Nicole © 2008

Invisible Love Affair

Invisible Love Affair

I would describe her as perfect

but she's above and beyond the definition of such

stunning from top to bottom

beautiful from the outside on to the depths of her soul

ashamed of the fact that I've lost control

my mind is gone

my thoughts abducted

my love's cup overflowed and erupted

I'll surrender my last breath for one chance to touch it

she is the epitome of me

just what my mind's painted perception desires her to be

traced within walls of my eyelids

she is just all that I manage to see

it's become the greatest blessing in life just to blink

tangled in the web of my own deceit

struggling to fight against the urge to be free

free from the truth

escaping the screams of reality ready to break loose

now facing the question of what's a girl to do?

The greatest love we make is inside my own head

I'm speaking loud and clear

but she can't hear one word that I've said

See I know her, but she doesn't know me

the only one in this woman's view is she

I am neither here nor there

temporarily trapped in this invisible love affair

T. Nicole

Six Million Ways

Six million ways to die
Six million ways to to rid the thought of you
No more smiles
No more laughs
No more memories
No more heartaches

You left me cold and alone
You left me with no good reason
You left me with these thoughts
These memories
These heartaches

These contemplations

Is there a way out?
What creates my own madness?

Am I addicted to your punishment?
Are you my master?
Am I awaiting my disaster?

I refuse.

I'm sick of years and years of your face

Your face etched on my brain

why won't it erase?

what have you done to me?

You wanted me gone so why won't you leave?

Go!
Get the fuck out!

Now!

You sick fuck.
Are you amused?

Go ahead, laugh now.

Today marks your last day

I have six million choices

Six million ways to rid you

I'll never look back

Because I don't want to

I won't have to

You no longer exist to me
I finally beat you

Between my happiness and sadness
I just calculated what creates
my own madness

You just took your last breath in my mind
No more laughs
No smiles
No more memories
No more heartaches

One out of six million ways

I feel irrational

so confrontational

In reality

I just got away with murder

The day I killed you in my mind
is the same day you call...

Did you feel me?