Lip Gloss Poppin' Bubblegum Princesses

I'm going to keep this short and simple. With little or no insults. I won't make any promises though. I just needed to clear my chest. As we all know I'm trying new things, tapping into different characteristics to make me a better woman. More patience, more sympathy and understanding. The whole celibacy thing, which has already gone down the drain. I tried. I really did. What can I say though? Some things work for different people. For those of you like me; we can't keep that on lock for too long, or weird shit starts to happen. Our vision is impaired, and our senses are thrown off. We start putting up with bullshit that we would NEVER put up with.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a redundant cycle. In some aspects, I get stuck on the same level and meet the same type of person. I attract the same type of people. It's super annoying. I can't blame every person for the same thing, because there is obviously something in me that keeps attracting these people. When I'm trying to learn someone's story, their history, their likes, dislikes, and basically study their individual human design that God took time to create in His eyes; I need concentration. I need time to do that. I need me and that person to focus on this task.

Instead of getting that shared concentration, I get these mentally blind and deaf cases. The communication is damn near impossible. Forget a language barrier, there is a mental barrier which is much harder to surpass. I want to pull my hair out sometimes. Now days, it's so hard to sit and have a conversation with someone without any distractions, any sidebars, any random outbursts. It's like talking to toddlers. Incomplete thoughts, sentences, awkward pauses, song breaking interludes; it's crazy. At times, I'm like okay; I know I can be uptight, but really who can sit through this shit? Who can stand to have a conversation with someone who is only present in that actual conversation 10% of the time spent? The killer thing is that people really think that we're compatible for a relationship setting; lmaoo! If I can't even hold a simple and organized conversation with you, what makes you think I will put up with that window licking shit in a relationship? Must be out of their cotton picking minds. Oh and then, they often ask, "do you miss me?" Are you kidding me? Lmaoo.

Substance, mystery, confidence, organization, intelligence, articulation, and pride go into a great conversation. Lately, the only thing these females have been equipped with is lip gloss and bubble gum. Real simple like. *sigh. These are some of the reasons why I remain quiet and to myself. I don't speak to people, because I refuse to waste my breath in conversation with lip gloss poppin' bubblegum princesses.

Dead end.

My Closet Door - Forever Unhinged

Lately there have been quiet a few celebrities coming out of the closet. I mean I guess it's not that much of a surprise once the announcement is made, because some things are just THAT obvious.

Take Clay Aiken for instance, Stevie Wonder could see that he was gay.

Lindsey Lohan has been seeing Samantha Ronson, the DJ for quite some time. Me being gay, I know that most "straight" feminine women who claim to be just "friends" with lesbian butch/stud women, are lying. There is some sort of romantic interest there.

LAS VEGAS - Comedian Wanda Sykes says the passage of a same-sex marriage ban in California has led to her be more outspoken about being gay.

"You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life," Sykes told a crowd at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas on Saturday.

"Everybody that knows me personally they know I'm gay. But that's the way people should be able to live their lives," she said.

Celebrities have it hard when it comes to leading any type of secretive life. I feel bad for them at times. I mean the money and the fame is great, but it comes with it's own price and sacrifices. Your personal life being one of those sacrifices. Mo' Money, Mo' Problems right? Hell yeah. They can keep that. I value my privacy too much for all of that.

Just this year I saw Wanda Sykes in Bush Intercontinental Airport out here in Houston. I was there to pick up my friend flying in from Florida. I was highly pissed off at the time, because I had been in that airport much too long trying to find her behind, and while standing there looking mad, I saw Wanda Sykes standing right in front of me. She looked different without the extra Hollywood make up, and the power of the digital camera. We caught eye contact and I smiled. I really didn't know what to say. I'm not a star struck kind of gal, so I wasn't like boiling over with excitement. She said "hello" and I returned with a "hello Ms. Sykes." Then she told me not to look so mad, and I just told her that I had been in that stupid airport for almost 2 hours waiting for my friend. She told that she hoped I found her soon before I hurt someone, and that was that. My "gay-dar" did go off though. She didn't look butch or anything, but she just gave off this gay vibe. She wasn't with a woman or anything, but I believe her bodyguard and a couple teenage boys. A few people stopped her once they realized who she was. She was very down to earth, but I imagined that she would be just by seeing her on television.

So now she's confirmed my assumptions. They were wrong for revoking the same sex marriage law in Cali though. So I can understand her and all the other folks anger out there. "You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life," I really liked this quote, because I am the same way when it comes to my life. I grew up in a family that is very private when it comes to their personal business. So I have not had this whole big "coming out" ceremony with my parents or anyone else for that matter, because I choose to live my life without announcements. I'm not in the closet, but I don't feel the need to yell it out to the world my sexual orientation either. If someone happened to asked, I would tell them the truth, and that includes my family. The thing is, no one ever asks, loll. My parents never will ask either, because we are just that private. As long as I'm doing alright health and financial wise, they feel they don't need to know all that other stuff.

We were talking about the homosexual statistics at the beauty shop this weekend. There are still some ignorant people out there who will never accept homosexuality, just like there are still some people who won't accept black people. Bottom line, the world will forever be ignorant in some way, shape, or form. McCain wouldn't have been able to change that. Obama won't change that, and whoever comes after him will not be able to change it. That's just not in the plan, sorry folks.

Why Must I Not Chase The Cat

6:15am I had to go off on somebody. Someone attempting to play head games with me. Charging me up about supposedly disregarding them. Here is my thing; communication goes two ways, and no one person should be held responsible for reaching out all of the time. We are both adults, if we want to call, then we know how to pick up the phone and dial one anothers respective numbers. This brings me to the point of this post. Some females just wanted to be chased. They want you to go out of your way to contact them, and get bothered by the fact that they are not answering the phone. Um yeah, that's not going down over this way. I could care less if you're available or not. I have too much going on in my day to be chasing some female. This is called ADULTHOOD. I am not in high school anymore sitting around all day thinking hopelessly about ANYBODY. Money has to be made to survive, and nobody is going to make it but me.

I'm not sure how many times I've written about validation, and people "needing" some form of emotional security from other people. I understand, we all need somebody. This is what family and close friends are for. Not everybody who flashes a pretty smile at you walking down the street. That is no type of connection, that's called being polite, get a grip! I had a few conversation with this female, and she thinks that my entire life should be revolving around her. Think again baby. Loll, my friend was telling me the other day that some females like to be shitted on. Because, if I were chasing her, she probably wouldn't be giving me the time of day. It's the simple fact that I'm not devoting all of my attention to her, she's probably asking herself why? She did tell me that she is use to people being wowed by her, and that she always gets her way and what she wants. Hm, well like I've been for most of the year with damn near everyone I've met, I'm still UNIMPRESSED.

This one hasn't done anything differently than the last one did. Hell she has some similarities that the fake one did. The childish antics, no conversation full of any type of substance, and no ambition in life what so ever. Man, what are you plans in life? This really isn't about one person though. It is about me and why I opt to not play the chasing game. I don't feel that people are worth my chase. I do apologize if that makes me sound cocky in any way shape or form. Then again, I don't apologize. What makes people think that they are worth the chase. What are they bringing to the table that makes them look to be the proper replacement of the last loser? Good question, and so far, nobody has been able to answer that with solid backup. So back the fuck up!

Not Again...

I think someone just died inside of my mind. I think the only way to get past this situation that just happened is to pretend that the other party never existed. I have a bad feeling in my gut that is telling me that I've been lied to for the past couple of months. That this person is not who she says she is and that so forth. Too many odd things happen and they happen at convenient moments. Something just doesn't add up. All of a suddent phones are off and I'm blocked every way possible in communication to this woman who just told me she loved me yesterday. The woman who just told me she was still very interested in knowing all about me and wanted to preview my novel; only to have her pull this stunt 20 minutes later with no words being spoken. I hope she is smart and never in her life tries to contact me again. She no longer exsists in my world. She is no longer breathing and her face has been replaced with a blurry smudge.

I've been having these deja vu feelings every since I met her and now they are starting to come into play for real now. I know I'll be up most of the night working my computer skill magic and getting down to the bottom of this before I completely kill her off in my head. Lol, I can't believe this is happening to me again. Lmaoo!!! Let the games begin.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me

I have never laughed so hard in all of my damn life. I will leave it at that. You know, I have been called a bitch a many a time. I've been called vindictive, spiteful and sneaky. I can't even lie and say that I was never any of the above. I know my words have a power like none other. And sometimes I do use my talent to my advantage, I won't lie about it. However, people fail to realize that when they do me wrong, I voice my opinion. I'm a writer and I write my feelings down. I have a way of putting them like you wouldn't believe. BUT, when I voice my opinion, I'm wrong. I can be called out of my name, ignored, tossed to the curb multiple times, but when I post one blog voicing MY feelings; I'm wrong! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

"Girl you have got to pursue your writing. You can obviously bring about more change that Barack Obama" - My greatest friend Ma Kisses.

Lmaoooooooooooooo!!!!! Mica always has to bite her tounge for the likes of other people. Fuck all that man. I'm tired of being nice to unworthy people. Now folks wanna play the victim role. Well join the damn club. We're ALL victims. WE ALL LIVE IN HELL!! I get idle threats about having all my shit aired out on AMERICA ONLINE. "Are you kidding me?!" LMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

AOL?!! Really? I could do the same thing, but what for? No one cares. We're not celebrities. Nobody on AOL knows me and they never will. Man I've heard it all for one day. I will declare this as the funniest day of my damn life.

Thanks. My ass is on the floor; detached from my damn body.