Nikki Part VIII

Nikki Part VIII

I couldn’t bear to tell my parents the entire story involving the chain of events that have been taking place for the past few weeks. I know how worried my mother can get and my dad will be in somebody’s prison trying to protect me. That’s the last thing I needed, so I told them that I just had a scare at my house and just needed to be close to them. Besides, I hadn’t seen them in quite some time. I have been so busy with my patients that I have been neglecting my poor parents. They seemed to have bought the story and didn’t say anymore about it for the rest of my unexpected trip.

I spent a few days with my parents until I decided it was time to bite the bullet and go back home. My secretary must have been going crazy, because I had 12 voicemails from her when I finally turned my phone back on. Now I felt bad for leaving her out on a limb like that. I have to do something nice for her once I got back.

The ride back wasn’t too bad; I prayed the entire way, and when I turned into my neighborhood my chest started to pound. I had a very funny feeling, but I took a deep breath and pulled into my driveway. Once I got inside everything looked the same way that I left it. I saw the light blinking on my answering machine out the corner of my eye as I was unpacking my suitcase. I glanced over and saw 12 messages. The same amount that was on my voicemail. I really didn’t want to listen to them, but my curiosity got the best of me and I pressed play.

“You have 12 new messages; first message recorded yesterday at 1:00 pm.”

“Niecey where are you? I haven’t heard from you in three days. This isn’t like you girl. I’ve called your cell phone a few times and it keeps going straight to voicemail. I hope you’re okay. Call me as soon as you get my messages.” That was Cassie and I could’ve sworn I called her the morning I arrived at my parent’s house. Why is she leaving another message?

“Second message recorded yesterday at 1:45 pm.”

“Baby girl your mother and I are worried about you. Your number keeps showing up on this here caller ID. You left in a bit of a hurry yesterday, call us soon baby. We love you and we are here if you need us.” What on earth is going on!? I just left my parent’s house. What is daddy talking about; yesterday? This does not make any sense. I sat down on the bed, because the room was beginning to spin. The next four messages were from my secretary. She sounded frantic on every one of them. Apparently Nikole Seasons has been calling the office for me every hour on the hour and is threatening her. What have I gotten myself into? I have heard of patients stalking their doctors, but this is a bit much. What does she want from me?

“Seventh message recorded yesterday at 2:12 pm.”

“Denise I need to talk to you. I am sorry for involving you; I just didn’t’ know what else to do. I needed to tell someone…” I have never heard this voice before. Who was that? I heard a bunch of rustling in the background and a loud pop. “I’m sorry Denise! I really am! Help me!” Now I knew that voice. That was Bobbie. I grabbed the phone and surfed through my caller ID to see what number she called me from. I recognized the first 6 number, but the last 6 were all from the same unknown number. I let the messages finish playing through and the next 4 messages was of the same loud pop I heard in the background of the message Bobbie left.

“Twelfth message recorded today at 2:12am.”

“Denise we need you. It’s time we all sat down and had a talk. Come to the Sunset Hotel; room 212. The door will be open.” Nikole Seasons is one person I could have gone through my entire life without meeting. I don’t know what this woman is all about, but if she wanted to talk, we could. I was ready to get down to the bottom of this and put it all behind me. I hate when my life is interrupted and now I’m pissed off.


I sped through the city and finally arrived at the Sunset Hotel. I can remember coming here a long time ago with Kelli when we first started dating. We use to have our weekend get-away here once a month. At this moment in my life I really missed her. I needed her shoulder to cry on and I needed to feel her arms around me for security. I have no idea what is happening to me, but I know that if she were here everything would be alright. I yearned for one more get-away with her, one more glass of Champaign, one more hour in the hot tub, one more kiss, and one more spine tingling orgasm; all of which use to happen right in this very Hotel.

I escaped my miserable trip down memory lane and got out of the car. As I entered the revolving doors of the Hotel, the fresh smell of pastries hit my nose. The aroma was coming from the bakery right off the lobby. Usually there were people scattered around, but there was no one in sight. I headed toward the elevators and I heard the gentleman at the front desk, “Welcome back Ms. Seasons.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “What did you just call me?” I asked.

“Ms. Seasons?” he said looking confused.

“My name is not Ms. Seasons.” I said with a slight attitude. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Okay ma’am. I thought you were Ms. Seasons in room 212. You are the spitting image of her. You even have on the same outfit. I do apologize ma’am.” He nervously said. At this point I rushed past the elevators and to the stairs. I ran up to the second floor and took off down the hallway. I abruptly stopped when I reached room 212. The door was ajar and I slowly pushed it open. I heard sobbing noises as I walked in. I saw Nikki sitting on the end of the bed attempting to dry the ever flowing tears draining from her eyes. The front desk attendant was right; we did have on the exact same outfit.

“Nikki what is going on and where is Bobbie?” she started to sob harder and she fell from the bed to her knees. “Nikki, I need to know where Bobbie is and what the fuck is going on! Who are you?!” I yelled. I was losing my cool and that was something I never do. I kneeled down on the floor and grabbed her by the shoulders until she looked me dead in the eye. I repeated my question again, “Nikki, where is Bobbie?”

She looked at me with an enormous amount of sorrow in her eyes and said, “I am Bobbie.”

Nikki Part VII

I’m really starting to feel funny. I can’t ever remember feeling like this. Today when I woke up and saw Bobbie lying next to me, this weird feeling came over my body. I tried looking into the future and couldn’t see her in it. I don’t like the thought of this. She looks so peaceful and pretty soon she won’t need me anymore. I am not ready to leave yet. I’m not too sure if I ever want to leave. Bobbie has been a special case for me. I have never cared for a person as much as I care for her. She’s like a delicate flower and one must handle her with care. I have guarded her heart and held her under my wing for safety; only to have her eventually push me out of her life. What is happening? The walls are starting to bleed red and suddenly I feel hot. I jump out of bed and she jerks awake. “What’s wrong baby?” she wiped the sleep out of her eyes adjusting to the shock of being suddenly wakened.

How do I answer this question? What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so strong and have the urge to break something? This is scaring me. I run to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I glance in the mirror and I don’t see myself. Who is this woman staring back at me? My soft angelic face is gone. My lips are so tight that I couldn’t push a smile through them if I tried. My eyes aren’t even the same color. I hear Bobbie’s phone go off right on the other side of the bathroom door. I already know who it is. I know it’s him. He is like an annoying mosquito that won’t go away. I want to squish him between my fingers until I see the blood of his victims leak out. I look in the mirror again at this stranger. She’s not bad looking. I’ve always been beautiful, but this woman has a different demeanor about her. I curve my lips into a smirk. Yeah she’s a bad bitch; I could get use to her.

I turned the faucet off and headed back into the bedroom. I am sick of this hotel room. I am sick of being hid in the shadows while he hogs the spotlight. “I can’t talk right now Derek, I’m in church.” She said in a low whisper. The lies keep coming every day a mile a minute. When will they stop? Do I just continue to sit back and let this happen? I’m supposed to right? I mean after-all I have a specific role in this woman’s life and I have a goal that must be reached. After that is done; we’re done. I grit my teeth at the thought of this. What does she see in him anyway? Sure, I’ll give props where props are due; he is a very handsome man. He is a deadbeat though. He uses Bobbie for all she has, and let him tell it; she doesn’t have much. I make up in all areas where this bitch lacks. I always do. So why is she still sucking this nigga’s dick? “I will call you when I am on my way home okay?” she awaited his response while looking at me. “I love you too.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s time to go Bobbie, pack your shit so you can go back home.” I said rudely as I made my side of the bed. I jerked the pillow from underneath her and she fell over. I wanted to laugh, but this wasn’t the time for jokes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she asked with an attitude. This is something that we have gone over a few times before. I know she is not use to me getting upset about our secret relationship. Lately it’s just been taking its toll on me and I’m tired of it. “How many times do we have to go through this? He is my husband Nikki, and despite what we have; I’m not ready to reveal anything like this to anybody, let alone him.” She got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. “I thought we had this understood almost a year ago when we met. Was I wrong?” I know she wasn’t asking me that dumb ass question. Of course I know the understanding that we had. I know the understanding that I had with everyone I encountered. Was she serious?

I watched her naked body standing in front of the mirror. I have never seen a woman so meticulously sculpted. I remember thinking this same thought the very first time I laid eyes on her. I remember the night of the first time we made love; the sultry sound of her voice when she whispered the freaky things she wanted to do to me in my ear. The she made her next move her best move and chose me to be with. She appointed me as the one to ease her troubles away. We spent every moment we could together. I was her superwoman and she told me she loved me with a passion. So why is she still trapped behind the bars of her marriage? I shook my head of these thoughts, because I really wanted to get her out of my sight to be honest. “Just get ready Bobbie so we can go. Trust me when I say, this will never be brought up again.” We both finished getting ready and we checked out of our room; room 212.

I sat back for a damn year, watched and participated in those charades for too long. I was taught never to quit, and I really wanted to let Bobbie go and be miserable with her husband. I couldn’t give up though. I had to finish what I started. She has been drug in the ground by this man for fourteen years. She obviously wasn’t going to handle matters on her own, so she needed my help. It has been said before that you can’t help the helpless and you can’t rescue those who don’t want to be rescued. Misery loves company and that bitch was one hell of a hostess. To add to the bullshit cliché’s; if you can’t beat them, join them. This woman changed me and re-wrote my entire resume. Instead of saving her like I started out to do, I let her continue to be beaten every night by him. We kept up our normal routine and our regular visits to room 212. I love that number! 212 was the number found on the key that I purposely planted in Bobbie and her husband’s home. When he found out she was having an affair with an unknown person, he knocked two of her teeth out and punched her in the face twelve times. It wasn’t until he ran over her with his truck that she was left in a coma. She rested in St. John’s hospital, room 212. Derek fled the state, but was later found with two bullet holes to the head and twelve stab wounds to the chest. His body was flown back to his hometown where he was buried in Memorial Cemetery; row two, slot twelve. Bobbie was finally free of that filth she was with. When she came out of her coma, she lost her mind when she found out that her husband had been killed. What a dumb bitch! This man almost killed her and she was still crying over him. I guess her compunctious feelings got the best of her. So, instead of recovering, she went in a downward spiral until she was locked in an insane asylum; room 212.

The unfortunate series of events people bring on themselves. If only she would have loved me like she said she did. Let go of all else and let me handle everything. She could have been sitting pretty right now. She doesn’t have to be laying here in my arms like this. She looks so peaceful. I could look at her forever. I just might do that, hell, who is going to stop me? As I said, I’m unstoppable. I sat back rocking her in my arms; my delicate flower. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand. Guess what time it is? 2:12 a.m…

Nikki Part VI

Red and blue lights filled my living room from the squad cars swarmed in front of my house. I sat there staring at that tan tote bag I laid on my kitchen counter when I retrieved it from outside my backdoor. I was so lost and confused in my own thoughts that I was not listening to a word that was coming out of the young police woman’s mouth. “Ma’am, did you see anybody on the deck or in the backyard?” I slowly looked in the police woman’s eyes for the first time. She had been there for about fifteen minutes and I hadn’t seen what she looked like until then. She stood there with a look of concern on her face and a note pad in her hand. “Ms. Washington, are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. No, I didn’t see anyone outside. It was pitch black.” I said.

“You didn’t turn your deck light on?” She asked raising one eyebrow.

I thought for a brief moment. I do remember turning on the light when I checked to see if the door was locked. “Oh my God.” I rubbed the back of my neck. I do this when I am worrying or deeply stressed about something. “I know for a fact I turned on that light and locked my back door. It’s like a nightly ritual I go through. I never forget to do those things.” I said, hoping to convince the officer that I wasn’t losing my mind.


“The perimeter is secure!” a tall lean police officer said coming from the bedroom. I really don’t know why he was back there, nobody came in the house. I suppose that was just part of his job. I am just glad the police responded so promptly. Had I been in the hood, I would’ve been dead by now.

“Ms. Washington, would you like a squad car to stay parked outside of your home for security?” The police woman asked.

“No, no I believe I’ll be fine. I’m just a little shaken up from the shock. I really do appreciate you all responding to quickly.” I gave them all a half smile and started walking toward the front door. I really just wanted to go to sleep. All three officers headed out the door. I know the neighbors are going to love this. Not one, two, but three cap cars lighting up the block at the only black woman’s home in the subdivision. “Thank you again officers,” I closed the door and checked the lock a billion times. As I was walking toward the back door I noticed that one of the officers had swept up the glass I broke when the alarm sounded off. That was sweet of them, because Lord knows I didn’t feel like doing that tonight. I had a funny feeling in my gut as I approached he back door. It was locked for sure. I tried to switch on the light, but for some strange reason it didn’t come on. I know that I just changed the bulb two days ago. Maybe I am just really tripping. Perhaps I pop too many Tylenol P.Ms every night. I took the tan tote bag off the counter top and opened it. It felt like it was empty, but there was a single piece of paper inside. It was a receipt from Toni’s Bar and Grill; the place where Bobbi and I had lunch a couple weeks ago. I looked over the items on the list. It was the exact same thing that she had when we were there; a pulled pork sandwich, wedge potatoes fries and a raspberry iced tea.

I decided to call Bobbie and get to the bottom of this. This is some shit that I’d rather not be going through right now, and I was going to end it. I hit redial on the phone, because she was the last person who I dialed before this insanity took place. There were a couple of rings and the line was picked up. “Hello Denise.” I wanted to speak, but no words would come out of my mouth. That was not Bobbie’s voice. I quickly hung up the phone. I knew that voice. It was a voice that was becoming more and more familiar to me; the voice of Nikole Seasons. What the fuck is going on! I dialed Bobbie’s number manually this time. “The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and dial again,” said the voice on the other end. I just called this girl. How in the world was her phone disconnected that fast?


That was the last straw. I ran to my closet, grabbed my emergency suitcase, my keys and my cell phone. I set the alarm and hit the front door. You don’t have to tell me twice when it’s time to get the hell out of dodge. I decided I was going to hit the highway and make that 3 hour drive to my parent’s house. The comfort of my parents could cure cancer. I had a full tank of gas so I had no need to make any stops. I called my office and left a message for my secretary and told her to cancel all appointments for the next week.

I made it to my parent’s town around 4:00 that morning. I felt bad because I knew they would be sleeping. I had a spare key to their house, so I quietly entered. I tip toed to their bedroom and I heard both of them snoring. I didn’t even want to go up to my old room. I went straight to the linen closet, got a blanket and made a pallet right there on the floor at the foot of their bed. I felt better already being in their presence. I let the soft sounds of their snoring eventually drift off to sleep.


“Wake up baby girl.” I heard my dad’s voice as he lightly shook me. I slowly got up. “When did you get here?” He asked obviously surprised.

“Hey daddy, I got here early this morning. I am sorry I didn’t call ahead of time, but I needed to see you guys.”

“Hey baby! She’s awake.” He called out to my mama. She came running in the room. “What’s wrong sugar? Everythang alright back at home?” I knew he was worried about me. I looked up at mama; they both were.

“No daddy. Some crazy things have been going on. I’ll explain in a little bit. I am hungry though. Let’s go get some breakfast; my treat.” I said getting up about to head to the bathroom to freshen up.

“That sounds good to me, but before we head out. Somebody has been calling the house for the past two hours asking for you.” Mama said.

“Who is it? Is it Cassie?” I just remembered I hadn’t told her I was coming out here either. She was probably worried, since I haven’t called her like I do every morning.

“No, no it wasn’t Cassie. It was…hold on. I wrote it down on a piece of paper. You know my memory slips me something bad child.” She went into the kitchen to retrieve her note. “It was some child by the name of Nikki…”

Six Million Ways

Six million ways to die
Six million ways to to rid the thought of you
No more smiles
No more laughs
No more memories
No more heartaches

You left me cold and alone
You left me with no good reason
You left me with these thoughts
These memories
These heartaches

These contemplations

Is there a way out?
What creates my own madness?

Am I addicted to your punishment?
Are you my master?
Am I awaiting my disaster?

I refuse.

I'm sick of years and years of your face

Your face etched on my brain

why won't it erase?

what have you done to me?

You wanted me gone so why won't you leave?

Go!
Get the fuck out!

Now!

You sick fuck.
Are you amused?

Go ahead, laugh now.

Today marks your last day

I have six million choices

Six million ways to rid you

I'll never look back

Because I don't want to

I won't have to

You no longer exist to me
I finally beat you

Between my happiness and sadness
I just calculated what creates
my own madness

You just took your last breath in my mind
No more laughs
No smiles
No more memories
No more heartaches

One out of six million ways

I feel irrational

so confrontational

In reality

I just got away with murder

The day I killed you in my mind
is the same day you call...

Did you feel me?

Nikki Part V

Oh how I hate Monday mornings, but I am up anyway thanking God that I am able to live another day nonetheless. These past couple of weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have been trying my hardest to keep myself occupied and buried in my work so that I won’t think about Kelli. I have received many calls from her telling me how much she misses me and how sorry she was about everything. I refuse to give into that nonsense. I have come to realize that the relationship in which we had ran its course and now that it’s over, there should be no looking back. I know I am weak for this woman still, but I have played the role of a fool for as long as I can remember. How can she expect to leave me for some tramp, have her fun and then attempt to walk back into my life? I don’t think so.

Besides the idiotic behavior of my ex, I have been trying my best to get in touch with Bobbie again. Her antics on our last encounter really worried me. I told Cassie about the situation and I honestly don’t know why I even talk to that girl. She is of no help at all.

“Bobbie is crazy anyway, just like all those other loony tunes you waste your time on!” she said sipping her iced coffee. We just had a long day of shopping and decided to stop in the book store for awhile.

“Please stop referring to my patients as loony tunes. And I don’t think doing my job is a waste of time. It’s called a career. You should try getting one, instead of bad mouthing mine.” I retorted rolling my eyes. Sometimes I could not stand her ass. She is a woman with no tact what so ever. I often envision grabbing the nearest object and smacking her upside the head.

“Whatever. Living my life is my career. I am not going to be trapped in the prison of what you call education for 15 years just to work for someone else.” This is coming from a woman that ironically has a Masters degree and is doing absolutely nothing with it. “I am happy working for myself and I didn’t need anyone to get me where I am today.” She hissed at me.

I really wasn’t in the mood to entertain her madness today. “Anyway Cassandra, do you think I should refer this Nikki woman to another colleague? I mean I feel a conflict of interest evolving you know?” I asked quickly changing the subject.

“I think you should at least get the down low on it all first. You can’t assume anything until you find out exactly what is going on. Or in this case, what exactly went on. Besides, I want to know damnit!” I knew she had ulterior motives for that response. “You better not dismiss that woman before we get the scoop.” I thought it over for a few moments and decided to continue with our sessions. I also decided I would try to give Bobbie a call one last time. Not just to probe for information, but because I honestly was concerned about my old friend.

Cassie and I finished up our shopping day and I was pooped. She had to go pick up my God-daughter from her Grandma’s house anyway, so we parted ways late that evening. When I got home I ran myself a hot bubble bath to soak in. My bones were aching from walking all day. I definitely couldn’t stroll through a mall in heels for hours on end like I use to. The water feels heavenly when its warmth caresses my skin. I drifted into my own fantasy world when I remembered that I had a call to make.

For some reason I was nervous and I felt the butterflies dancing around in my stomach when I picked up my cordless phone on the side of the bathtub. I dialed Bobbie’s number cowardly hoping to get her answering machine. I released a heavy sign when she picked up on the fourth ring, “Hello?”

“Hello Bobbie, this is Denise. How are you doing?” I nervously asked. There was a pregnant pause and for some reason I felt she might hang up on me, but she didn’t.

“Hi Denise, I am doing well. How are you doing?” She hesitantly responded.

“I am doing okay. I am glad to hear you’re doing well Bobbie. You have been on my mind since our last lunch date. I was wondering if I said something wrong to run you off like that. I sincerely apologize if I did. Have you gotten my messages?” I asked.

“Yes, I got them. You didn’t say anything wrong. You just ruffled some feathers from the past. You know how that goes. So how do you know Nikole?” she asked.

I am glad she jumped right into the conversation, because I honestly didn’t know how I was going to work that topic in there. Then I thought about it. When I first met Nikki, she said that Bobbie had referred her to me. That’s odd. Completely puzzled, I said, “She came by my house in the case of an emergency and said that she was referred to me by you.”

More silence. “Did she?”

I don’t think she expected an answer to that question. “So I guess I should be asking how you know her.” I had a bad vibe about this situation. I never had this feeling while talking to Bobbie. The hot water in my bath suddenly turned cold and gave me the shivers.

“There is a lot that has happened over the past year Denise. I was in the hospital after being severely beaten by my husband at the time and I met Nikole there.”

“Oh my goodness! I had no idea Bobbie! I knew you never returned any of my calls, but I thought you were just busy. Is this ex husband of yours in jail? He is your ex right?” I had to ask, because oddly enough even after being severely beaten, some women still stay with those losers. I am just glad she is okay, because there are some women who also don’t live to retell the story.

“He’s dead. I actually have Nikole to thank for getting me through that period of my life. I also have to thank her for taking me through an even worse time.” Her tone changed quickly. It seems like every time she said that name, I could hear teeth grinding through the phone. “I don’t know what business you have with her Denise, but you need to push her out as soon as you can.”

“Why is that? She happens to be one of my patients now. The day she came to my home she said she urgently needed some help and I have been providing that for her.” I said in her defense.

“You don’t know what she is capable of!” she yelled. “I am sorry for yelling, but I don’t want you to end up like I did.” She was actually starting to scare me. What the hell is with this woman? She seems normal outside of her life’s problems that could happen to any of us. “I have to go Denise, but please listen to me. Whatever is going on in your life, try to get through it by yourself!”

“How could you possibly…” I heard the dial tone in my ear. How did she know I was going through anything in my life? This was all getting a little too weird for me. That was definitely not the same Bobbie that I was use to. Something terrible happened to her, and it’s going to be harder than I thought to find out what that is.

I got out of the tub and dried off. I rubbed myself down with baby lotion and slipped into my blue silk robe. I went into the kitchen to down a couple of Tylenol P.Ms. My head was now pounding from all the confusion. I grabbed a class from the cabinet. My security alarm pierced my ears and the glass in my hand dropped to the floor and shattered at my feet. My phone rang which made my heart skip another beat. I carefully dodged the glass on the floor and picked up the phone.

“Is everything okay?” It was the security company.

“I don’t know, the alarm just went off while I was standing here in the kitchen.” I said, looking around the house. I walked towards the back door and saw it was half way open. “My back door is open! I know I didn’t leave it open, because I actually checked the lock before I set the alarm.”

“Ma’am the police are in route to your home. Would you like me to stay on the phone with you until they arrive?” I heard the man ask me. I was too shocked when I saw a tan tote bag lying on the outside of the door. The same tote bag Bobbie carried with her the last time I saw her.