In Love With A Lie - How Far Would You Go?

How far would you go if you found out that your boyfriend/girlfriend for x amount of months/years was engaged to someone else? Would you sulk into a deep tunnel; never to come out and face the world again? Would you suck it up and charge it to the game as a loss in love? Or would you seek revenge and take that muthafucka for all he/she is worth?


Finding out you're being cheated on is a hard pill to swallow. So many emotions roaring at once, and any decision that’s made could change your love life forever. In how you handle your current love and how you handle your love in the future. I've been in the "I'm being cheated on" boat, and I can't say that I made the right decisions regarding my action. I'm a hot head so you already know I got my Waiting to Exhale on, and did my damage. I was on some real fuck a bitch shit for a long time! I didn't trust anybody, and I didn't want to see love if it knocked on my door with $10 million dollars in it's hand. I was fed up!


It's crazy how easy it is for people to lie and lead these double lives. Using the word love in vain means nothing to some people. They can treat you like the queen or king of the universe, but can be treating someone else the same exact way on the other side of town. TRAGIC! But when the shit hits the fan, and the gig is up…omg! What to do, what to do?!


So here I am this morning trying to comfort a friend of mine going through this same exact thing. After giving her all to a man, and putting so much on the line for what she thought was the love of her life; she finds out he is engaged. Thinking he was on a business trip in New York, she receives a call from his Fiancé asking who she was to him. Goodness! Talk about having your heart sink to your ASS! Dude is living with my friend, and all of his stuff is in her house where she pays the bills. Do you THINK this man would have anything left if he had the nerve to show up at my doorstep again? HA! I think NOT! The clothes, jewelry, brand new TV, toothbrush and draws would all be mine! I'd be in that leasing office so fast to change those locks; you wouldn't believe it! I'd dare him to bust a move too! But that's just me. You're not about to play me 100% and get away with it. My friend on the other hand is more kinder and gentler soul than I. Boy, do I feel bad for her. I just keep telling her that God will bless her, and karma will be giving him a visit very soon.

You also have to look at what you've done in the relationship as well. Just because your secrets haven't fallen out of the closet doesn't make you innocent. God sees all things, and brings all things to the light at some point. So while seeking revenge and crying your heart out; what dirt did you do? This just could be karma bitting you in the ass first!

Lip Gloss Poppin' Bubblegum Princesses

I'm going to keep this short and simple. With little or no insults. I won't make any promises though. I just needed to clear my chest. As we all know I'm trying new things, tapping into different characteristics to make me a better woman. More patience, more sympathy and understanding. The whole celibacy thing, which has already gone down the drain. I tried. I really did. What can I say though? Some things work for different people. For those of you like me; we can't keep that on lock for too long, or weird shit starts to happen. Our vision is impaired, and our senses are thrown off. We start putting up with bullshit that we would NEVER put up with.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a redundant cycle. In some aspects, I get stuck on the same level and meet the same type of person. I attract the same type of people. It's super annoying. I can't blame every person for the same thing, because there is obviously something in me that keeps attracting these people. When I'm trying to learn someone's story, their history, their likes, dislikes, and basically study their individual human design that God took time to create in His eyes; I need concentration. I need time to do that. I need me and that person to focus on this task.

Instead of getting that shared concentration, I get these mentally blind and deaf cases. The communication is damn near impossible. Forget a language barrier, there is a mental barrier which is much harder to surpass. I want to pull my hair out sometimes. Now days, it's so hard to sit and have a conversation with someone without any distractions, any sidebars, any random outbursts. It's like talking to toddlers. Incomplete thoughts, sentences, awkward pauses, song breaking interludes; it's crazy. At times, I'm like okay; I know I can be uptight, but really who can sit through this shit? Who can stand to have a conversation with someone who is only present in that actual conversation 10% of the time spent? The killer thing is that people really think that we're compatible for a relationship setting; lmaoo! If I can't even hold a simple and organized conversation with you, what makes you think I will put up with that window licking shit in a relationship? Must be out of their cotton picking minds. Oh and then, they often ask, "do you miss me?" Are you kidding me? Lmaoo.

Substance, mystery, confidence, organization, intelligence, articulation, and pride go into a great conversation. Lately, the only thing these females have been equipped with is lip gloss and bubble gum. Real simple like. *sigh. These are some of the reasons why I remain quiet and to myself. I don't speak to people, because I refuse to waste my breath in conversation with lip gloss poppin' bubblegum princesses.

Dead end.

Righteous Or Unrighteous - Beauty Shop Talk

The Chair. The Main Stage. The Hot Seat.
Hear all and tell all.

So I woke up around 6:00a.m for my hair appointment this morning. Slightly hungover of course. I'll learn my lesson one day. I'm not here to talk about my drinking habits though. I'm here to talk about a discussion we had in the shop this morning. We all know that in any black beauty shop or barber shop is where the most juiciest conversations are held. Any gossip, drama, current events, break-ups, hook-ups and down right ignorance is caught here. I get my fill on these every 2 weeks when I sit in "Jay Why's" chair. Well this morning we had a topic that actually hit home, and had some ladies looking at me sideways. Of course I didn't give a fuck, and that didn't stop me from punching ignorance smack dab in the face; shutting it down!

So "Jay-Why" was telling us about a young lady that had been having problems for as long as we've all known her. She comes around for awhile, and then disappears in the night. No one will hear from her for about 6 months to a year at a time. Well this time she came back around a full blown lesbian! She thought that she needed to tell "Jay Why" about her recent choice in life. This didn't set well with "Jay Why". I actually thought the conversation was just going to be a passing one, but the girl actually came in the shop around 10:00 to get her hair done. Now, I grew up with my beautician and her brothers and sisters. Her mother was always like a 2ND mother to me. Keeping me from 4 months until I was about 5 years old. They were my family. We were all raised under strict guidance, and were taught from the same bible daily. However, we all grew up and set into our individual characters. We grasped our own beliefs, and made our own decisions. That's how growing up and life works right? It should be respected huh? Yeah right.

When "Jay Why" and the ladies got word of the young new lesbian's sexual preference, they flipped. Eyes were rolled, teeth were smacked, heads were shook, faces were frowned, bitches were tight about it. I smiled, loll. Because I knew the shit was about to hit the fan. True indeed, the girl had picked the wrong day to come get her hair done, because they were eating that ass alive! I must admit the young lady was lost, and she was still indeed trying to find herself, but the advise she was given was pure ignorant and hypocritical. Comments were made;

Them...

"Baby, you living in sin!"
"This is just a phase"

"Give the men one more chance."

"I knew that tongue ring was more than a fad."
"Yo' mama should have never let you go to that TSU campus!"

"Yo mama didn't raise you right."

"You need better guidance in life."

"You need to choose if you want to be righteous or unrighteous"

Me...

"Live your life and do what makes you happy. Find an understanding, realistic and truthful communication line with God."

"Be who you are, and laugh in the faces of the hypocrites telling you that you're living your life wrong."

"You have one judge, and one judge only. None of these bitches in here are flying high above the sky, so that makes them just as imperfect as you are."

Them...

"Are you gay?"

"Don't tell that girl that!"

"You're condoning her sinful ways"
"Meeky, you know better than that. My mama and your mama raised you right!"

"That's a damn shame."

Me...

"Yes, and I am happy."

"Don't tell her what? The truth?"

"I condone all you lying, nasty, cheating, and trifling fools."
"My mama raised me right, and did a damn good job. I in-turn took her values in life and became who the hell I was suppose to be."

"This is a damn shame."

Them...

**Silence**

Needless to say, that was the first time some of those women heard that I was gay my damn self. I am not the kind of woman to go flaunting her sexuality around and shoving it down people's throat. I am a private person, period. This goes for all areas in my life. I just hate to hear when heterosexual people down talk homosexuals and damn them to hell, when they are sinning themselves. No sin is greater or less than the other. There were women sitting in there who have openly admitted to cheating on their husbands, sleeping with their best friend's husbands, lying about who child is whose child, and the list goes on. So just because this young girl admits to be happy in her own life, with ONE person who happens to the the same sex as she, they go left.

The question was brought up, do you want to be righteous or unrighteous? Who are you or anybody else to say what is righteous or unrighteous? How about the young lady choose to be happy and live life for herself, and not for anyone else? I personally cannot live with knowing that went through life making only other people happy. Doing things or not doing things based off of what other people say and think. At the end of the day, these same people are doing what the hell they want to do, and not thinking twice about what you think. The fact of the matter is, people will always have something to say about how someone else is living their life, and how it's not being lived right. Well news flash, it's 2008, we live in the devil's playground of sin and imperfection. We were born NOT to live this shit right, because thanks to our fore-parents; that task is downright impossible; unless your last name is CHRIST. The last time I checked it was only one dude that EVER walked on this earth rockin' that pure garment. Now that's some righteous shit fo' yo ass!

After all of that was said and done, my shop experience didn't even turn out as sour as I thought it would. Some of the ladies still had their opinions as they are supposed to, but they respected it. A couple thought about it, and agreed with me. "Jay Why" just changed the subject, loll. When I got ready to leave, we play fought as usual, and I told her I'd be back in 2 weeks.

As for the newly found lesbian girl; she thanked me for stepping in and having her back. I didn't really step in to have her back parse; I just stepped in and shut down the ignorance at hand. Plain and simple.