Welcome Back Jamaica

I seem to be going through a situation that has always bothered me when it occurred in the past. You know how you meet someone and you give things a try and it just doesn’t work out? Then you and that person grow apart, but later down the line you start to converse again. You quickly realize that you both have grown in certain areas during that time apart. The feelings start to ignite again, but the only problem is that the other person is in a relationship with someone else. You know that perhaps the way you were before pushed them right into the arms of another lover. It’s a sucky feeling. However you and that person can’t help but to acknowledge the new found chemistry between you, the intense sexual attraction and the mind blowing conversations. You miss them and they miss you. You just can’t do anything about it.

I was reading a few of my blogs from last summer. It was the summer that I met “Jamaica”. I was a hardheaded asshole. Nobody could tell me anything. I despised talks about relationships and love. Then “Jamaica” came along and sat outside my heart’s doors. We talked through those doors for awhile. Then she tried to pry them open. That’s when my defense level went up to an all time high. I was horrible to her. I was a bitch, disrespectful and I didn’t give a damn. She stuck with it though for as long as she could. I hurt her and brought so much frustration to her life. That’s when we drifted apart. Fast forward to last this summer. Here we are; “Jamaica” in a relationship and I just got out of a bogus situation with that lying faceless bitch. Speaking of which, “Jamaica” finds that super hilarious and she says that karma has tapped on my door and drop kicked me in the chest, loll. She could be right, after all the shit I took her thought. So all in all, I suppose I deserved it. Who really is to say? I am just glad that she forgave me for the headaches caused. Even though the past situation was fucked up, it did not hold me down; it opened my eyes more so than anything. It helped me waken those feelings that I thought were dead. If I were to ever that the change with “Jamaica” again, I would do things right this go round.

We’ve already done our dirt, but she’s still with her girl. I have asked her did she feel bad for the sex crimes committed and she said no. Lately I’ve gotten really sentimental with her and I realize that I’m walking on dangerous grounds, because she’s not on the market. She could have a revolution any day and decide never to talk to me again, because of her current situation. Then I’ll be left with hurt feelings. Another knock from Karma? Maybe. I hope that is not the case though. Either way it goes, I ‘m just glad to have her back in my life no matter how long it is. The fact of the matter is that we have come along way since summer ’07 and I’ve come along way period. I just wrote a blog last week about not questioning things when the path is beautiful. It’s not broken and there is nothing to fix. I may not have her in the way that I want her, but perhaps now is not our time. I won’t question that. It’s just good to hear a familiar voice again that brings me great comfort. Welcome back “Jamaica”.