The Mental VS. The Physical

Mental or Physical? Sink or swim?

What makes your sexual libido peak to it's highest point? Is it the physical or the mental? Some people only vision the beauty of a human body through two eyes. Sadly, only capturing the outside sculpture of would could be a life changing masterpiece. The mere physical attraction is good enough for these people. For those of us viewing the world through our mind's eye have the pleasure of being sexually touched by a beauty deeper than the outer lustful layer of skin. This is both bitter and sweet. Not everyone has the capability of touching someone mentally. It does take a rather intellectually confident person to fill a mind with brilliant bits of information, consciously turning them into sexual innuendos; causing that mind to over flow with uncontrollable climaxes.

I personally am a fan of mental orgasms. I've been in situations where there was no physical contact made, but the mere conversation alone took me to that level. I LOVE those moments. I miss those moments. I haven't had an experience like that for quite some time. For the most part, my mental is peaked sexually on first encounters. The sense of the newness alone attracts me. If there is some sort of flirtatious chase; that only ups the ante. Sad to say, once the newness fades; so does my interest. It does take a lot to lose my interest. Receptiveness is a no-no. I need for a person to take me to new levels. I need to learn new things. What I really need is to sit on the passenger side for once. I want for someone to mentally chauffeur me around, hold my hand and explore the beats of the world together. Climaxing to that beat along the way is only a perk, but it comes naturally to say the least.

As strong and opinionated as my personality is; it's hard to find someone who can fit confidently in that driver's seat. In the past this has made my dating rap sheet quite lengthy. It's always a hit and miss. The physical attraction will basically set up for it's disappearing act; I touch and I vanish. To be mentally touched over and over and over again; causing all of my guards to be let down, because I am a hostage to a person's realm of knowledge and wisdom that I manifest. That is deeper than any physical attraction I've ever encountered...

heart to heart

soul to soul
word for word

she speaks to me

in a language foreign but understood

in a way that only she could

her face I cannot see
for her back is to me
her words are all I need

pierce me

wake me

school me

mentally invade me

my mind is your playground

swing, slide, run, jump

causing my heart to thump

faster and faster

I'm astounded by your intellect

there is no beat that you neglect

your magnetic vibe pulling me in

starting to feel a heated sensation from deep within

every breath taken
escaping in familiar rhythms
I'm there yet again
what you do has got to be a sin
Greed has taken over
I listen thirstily searching for more
For it is your face I cannot see

I swear this happens

Each and every time you speak to me

Will my thirst for this encounter be quenched anytime soon? Will the situation I'm in sink or swim, because of this itch buried deep within? I hope not, for I am ready to hand my keys over and snuggle comfortably in that passengers seat. Letting the mental outweigh the physical, and carry me away to that ecstasy that I have been yearning for. The potential is there, but some people just need a little push in the right direction.

So what's your choice? The mental or the physical?

Love On The Sideline

It never fails that in every relationship there will be those crabs trying to pull you down from your happy high! This however just proves how strong you are in that relationship. Will you give in to the temptation of seduction? Will you drift down from that happy high and play with fire? How much is one moment of passion worth? All these questions might be easy to answer coming straight from your mouth, but when in that situation; we all know that's a different story.

Infidelity has been common since the beginning of time. Some of us have been guilty of it, and some of us haven't. I've been on both sides of the fence sad to say. I've done my dirt; due to some serious commitment issues that I have going on in my personal closet of skeletons. I've broken those fragile hearts because I gave into those seductive crabs. I allowed myself to be pulled down from my happy high, and I suffered through those third degree burns. It seems all good when you think your secret is quiet as kept. You feel you have that perfect situation and that sideline love knows how to play their part. Ha! Whatever is done in the dark will 99.9% of the time always come to the light at some point. And when the shit hits the fan….



Just ask Tiger!!!

Ha! Sorry Mr. Woods; I had to do it. This is a perfect example of where that sideline love can land you. I am not going to lie; he had a good run while it lasted. Had his little pieces set up like decoys cheering from the stands with the rest of the common folk. It's very rare that a sideline lover stays in his/or her lane throughout the entire course. At some point, they become resentful in the fact that they are just mere sloppy seconds. They are not the top priority, and they will forever be in the shadows. That is until they decide to steal the spotlight. Take your shine and ultimately pull you off your high horse and down from your happy high.

I must say I'm still not the most innocent woman in the world though. I still probably flirt way more than I should. My eyes wonder way more than they should. I haven't been as adamant as I should be when it comes to closing those past chapters of my life. I still have lines of communication open with those who I know play the role of the seductive crab; just waiting to snap at me the first chance they get. I must get my act right quick, fast, and in a hurry. As each day passes; I realize more and more how lucky I am to be in the relationship that I'm in. I won't find a better support system than what I have here. The love is unconditional, and the last thing I need is my fears of commitment to rear their ugly heads and mess this up. I'm living love in the 80's, and this is a happy high I don’t want to come down on anytime soon.

Love in the 80's

Wow, long time no write around these parts. I've been missing in action for quite some time; I apologize. I do have some things to get off my chest though. I've been writing old school style lately. Good old fashioned pen and paper. Other than that; where have I been? Well, I've been out on the town with love. I've finally found a woman who seems to be suitable for me. Anyone who has kept up with this blog knows my struggle when it comes to females. Boy do I know how to pick em'! I think I did alright for myself this time.

Everyone keeps telling me that this woman isn't what they pictured me with. Yes, she is out of the norm for me, but that’s a good thing. That was my problem; I would always fall for the same type of female and end up with the same problems. I was use to dealing with girls, and now I have a woman. The only thing left for me to do is get my mind right. Get out of that state of mind that I was so use to being in. I'm use to the fireworks going off by now. I'm use to being on a constant roller coaster ride, but this woman is no amusement park. She's almost perfect, and that scares me a little. Nothing sets her off, and she's so easy going about EVERYTHING. That’s a good thing right? I believe it is. She doesn't get jealous over any other female that may still be calling my phone. Her confidence and security level is through the roof. That's a great thing. She doesn't argue or debate, and she agrees with pretty much everything. Nothing is a big deal with here. In this, I am bitter-sweet.

Me being the woman I am; I need that "kick" in a relationship. I need to be put in my place 70% of the time. I need to feel like I'm in a relationship. For some reason, I still feel like I'm single. I feel free, because she's so passive. I'm use to the 21 questions. I'm use to the possessive tendencies. I'm use to the disagreements that turn me on and anticipate me for the make up session. But everything with her is….perfect. I'm use to dealing with Tasha Smith character on Why Did I Get Married, but I got the Jill Scott. Why complain? I got everything I asked for. She's the total package. I'm so use to being in a chaotic romantic setting, that I don't know how to deal in peace.

My whole fear in this perfect relationship; is that I'll grow bored. I'm no good when I'm bored, because that hardly EVER happens to me. This is why that "kick" in the relationship keeps me on my toes. It keeps me alert and keeps me fired up to keep going. I don't want to be the typical lesbian, and thrive off drama. I believe I'm a far cry from the typical lesbian, but a thickened plot makes the story so much better. I just don't want to keep looking like the evil villain, because of what I'm use to. The last thing I want to do is keep hurting her feelings, because I don’t know how to play the hand I was dealt; which is the one that I asked for.

This is still in it's early stages, and in my eyes only has the potential to get better with time. I don’t want my ways to push her away. My extreme loner ways. My unaffectionate ways. My independent ways. Oh, and yes being too independent can be a bad thing. Your mate might feel obsolete, because you do everything on your own and want no input or help. I'm good for this. All things I am working on. The affectionate thing will probably never come though. That's just not me. Nobody in my family is affectionate other than my half sister. I grew up with a mother and father that didn’t even sleep in the same bed. We didn't eat dinner together at the table. Every family member were for themselves. We were 3 strangers under one roof. So affection is something that came every blue moon for me my entire life. You can't miss something you never really had. You also can't be expected to give it either.

All I can say is; I can't let past dealings with psychotic females cause me to mess up something good. Something that I'll probably on get one chance in my life to encounter. She is my 80 after ohhhh soooo many 20's. Love in the 20's brought me nothing but bitterness and heartache. I got everything but what I truly needed out of those situations. Love in the 80's brings maturity, understanding, unconditional love, peace and and a sense of compassion any man or woman only dreams about. I'm thankful. I love her. I just need to get my mind right and FAST!!!

In Love With A Lie - How Far Would You Go?

How far would you go if you found out that your boyfriend/girlfriend for x amount of months/years was engaged to someone else? Would you sulk into a deep tunnel; never to come out and face the world again? Would you suck it up and charge it to the game as a loss in love? Or would you seek revenge and take that muthafucka for all he/she is worth?


Finding out you're being cheated on is a hard pill to swallow. So many emotions roaring at once, and any decision that’s made could change your love life forever. In how you handle your current love and how you handle your love in the future. I've been in the "I'm being cheated on" boat, and I can't say that I made the right decisions regarding my action. I'm a hot head so you already know I got my Waiting to Exhale on, and did my damage. I was on some real fuck a bitch shit for a long time! I didn't trust anybody, and I didn't want to see love if it knocked on my door with $10 million dollars in it's hand. I was fed up!


It's crazy how easy it is for people to lie and lead these double lives. Using the word love in vain means nothing to some people. They can treat you like the queen or king of the universe, but can be treating someone else the same exact way on the other side of town. TRAGIC! But when the shit hits the fan, and the gig is up…omg! What to do, what to do?!


So here I am this morning trying to comfort a friend of mine going through this same exact thing. After giving her all to a man, and putting so much on the line for what she thought was the love of her life; she finds out he is engaged. Thinking he was on a business trip in New York, she receives a call from his Fiancé asking who she was to him. Goodness! Talk about having your heart sink to your ASS! Dude is living with my friend, and all of his stuff is in her house where she pays the bills. Do you THINK this man would have anything left if he had the nerve to show up at my doorstep again? HA! I think NOT! The clothes, jewelry, brand new TV, toothbrush and draws would all be mine! I'd be in that leasing office so fast to change those locks; you wouldn't believe it! I'd dare him to bust a move too! But that's just me. You're not about to play me 100% and get away with it. My friend on the other hand is more kinder and gentler soul than I. Boy, do I feel bad for her. I just keep telling her that God will bless her, and karma will be giving him a visit very soon.

You also have to look at what you've done in the relationship as well. Just because your secrets haven't fallen out of the closet doesn't make you innocent. God sees all things, and brings all things to the light at some point. So while seeking revenge and crying your heart out; what dirt did you do? This just could be karma bitting you in the ass first!

Daily Singles: Do Talk To Strangers

Daily Singles: August 4, 2009


It's a great day to take a risk and get to someone new. Talk to a complete stranger to better hone your communication skills. Sometimes it's helpful to initiate conversation with someone outside of your usual friends. Be friendly, observant and most of all, yourself.

So this is implying that I talk to strangers? Loll, that is so outside of my character. I've come out of my shell more and more over the years though. I'm more of a social butterfly than I've ever been. I guess my metamorphosis came later in life. I haven't completely shattered my shell though. I'm still reserved and ducked behind the shadows. People are crazy and I've found that being this way has really helped me dodge a lot of unnecessary drama as well.



This advise doesn't have to be on a romantic tip, but also a business networking tip. With the screwed up economy the whole saying; "it's not about what you know, but who you know" is more realistic than every. Social networking requires that you speak to strangers. Who knows; I can either find the love of my life or a partner to find the next multi-billion dollar company. This is just a small risk to take in life. Me being a reserved shadow ducker is me giving myself the short end of the stick. There are so many layers to me, but as I unravel them one by one; I'm stepping further and further into my womanhood, in which I have grown to love unconditionally.

I've been craving some new networking friends. People just to hang out with. Cultured people who can think outside the club. It seems that my friends only want to be seen at a party or a club. It's past time for me to broaden my horizons. If my friends don’t want to join me, then I guess I have to leave them behind. It'd be dope if I got a two for one special. Find the new cultured friend and the girlfriend all in the same person, loll. Who knows? This might happen. I'm not going to get my hopes up on that part, because my season of love clearly hasn’t strarted yet.