Face 2 Face

I hope everyone had an excellent weekend. My weekend went rather well. I had yet another blast from the past pop up on me this weekend. I've written about her before, and I've also written her off on numerous occasions as well. I guess just like with everyone else; my main issue with her was trust. It's no secret that I have trust issues; due to being burned severely in my own past. I can't seem to shake the fear when it comes to that either. But then again, every time I turn around people are lying. Lying for no good reason at all. That's a whole different story though.


Anyway, Champ popped back up this weekend out of the blue. I had drifted completely away from her due to irreconcilable differences and distance. That was a very unique situation. We had never met before and we split before any plans were pushed through on meeting. She told me that she was moving to Houston this summer before we stopped speaking, but due to her track record; I just didn't believe her. This weekend she said that she had a few bad dreams about me, and felt it was a sign to give me a call. We talked for along time. She said that she had been in Houston for about a month already. She told me the area that she lived in; which sounded sort of believable. However, after so many issues in the past; I have to see it to believe it. I mean anybody can Google Houston and learn the city, loll. But I hope she wouldn't go that far. I just don’t put anything past anyone. Fucked up things happen to me, so I'm definitely not crossing that one off the list of possibilities, loll.


Supposedly, RIGHT after her and I stopped speaking she up and got a new girlfriend and moved to Houston with her. That's weird, but none of my business nonetheless. It's just something else to raise the red flag on though. It's been so many things about Champ that I've just had to shake off and NOT be concerned with. Because, if I did try to figure it out; I'd have a head full of grey hair by now. Just don’t have time to solve the riddles. My whole thing is now; if she's in Houston, I'd like to meet her. Perhaps my unanswered questions will all be answered with one look in the eye. Just because I didn't believe half the things she said, doesn't mean she was actually lying. My mind has been my curse for quite some time now, and this may just be another one of it's tricks. None of that can be determined until a date, place and time is set in stone. I plan on speaking to her later when I get off to see if something can be set up. If she gives me anytype of excuse or nonsense, I'll be going with the assumptions already stored in my head and going back to my reality.


I do not want to meet up with her to start any irrational commitments; I simply want to see what she's all about. So many months of phone conversations, I'd like to match the voice with a face. Lately, simple things like this have been so hard for some people. That is what's crazy to me. Does life have to be made this difficult? Even if one is lying, can we nip it in the bud and not drag it a long??? I don't know, maybe my logic is off, but that is a whole different story too.


This summer is not my season for love, but I'd love for it to be the season of realness and truth. So far, not so good. I'm not giving up hope though. This is the last time for Champ to shine through; I hope she doesn't lose the battle again.

Daily Singles: And The Beat Goes On

A couple people asked me why I deleted my post from yesterday, but that reason will remain in "no comment" status. However, today's daily singles might reveal a little information on the way I'm feeling at this time. I'll jump right into it…

Daily Singles: July 28, 2009


You may want to withdraw into your shell -- it's awfully cozy and safe-feeling in there. But too much being alone could bum you out. Strike a compromise by hanging casually with a friend or two.

Cozy is an understatement, loll. It is uber safe in my shell, but sometimes being completely alone can be unhealthy. I revert to my shell when love slaps me in the face, but I do realize that I can't stay there forever. Believe me, I've tried. Like Aaliyah said…if at first you don’t succeed; you gotta dust yourself off and try again. Even if I do revert back to my shell after love has it's way with me; the world will keep right on spinning. I've been through quite a bit of heartaches and heartbreaks to learn that sulking in spilled milk only hurts me. I'm wasting my valuable time. I'm human, and yes I'm going to be knocked down for a little bit, but the beat goes on!


I still have most of the week ahead of me to spend in solitude, but I have plans this weekend that will turn my semi cloudy skies blue again.

Flirting: Harmful or Innocent?

Although my mindset is pretty independent and steered clear from relationships; with the exception of a few companionship cravings; I can't help but get my flirt on from time to time. To some flirting is a simple gesture to the opposite sex or the same sex to keep life a little spicy. Some just want to see if they "still got it". Some do it just to put a smile on a pretty woman's face or to flash the dimple of a handsome man. Not everyone is out to score from such flirtatious acts.

Then you have those with that devilish lustful eye. They are out for that one thing; going to the ends of the earth with the gestures, comments and sexual innuendos to draw their prey in. This to me goes beyond the point of flirting. Especially if the prey doesn’t want to be caught. It is then that you're being downright harassed. Get the hell out of dodge! Call the cops! Get your pepper spray and lay that sucker down! Some people just take it too far. 9 times out of 10 it's those that are harassing that have a wife and kids back at the house waiting for their trifling asses to bring home the bacon.

I can't lie. I'm a diehard flirt. I gets it in! I don’t care if she's single or taken. I'm going to say what's on my mind, loll. This hasn't always landed me in the most innocent situations, but hey I like what I like. Being single, I might go a little harder than I would with the flirting if I were in a committed relationship. I've had issues with past girlfriends getting jealous when I do my little innocent flirting. Most of the times they were just insecure and blew it way out of proportion. I had one girlfriend that didn't give a damn. I would flirt and then she would backdoor and flirt with the same person! We had the same taste, and she was very secure in the fact that I wasn't going anywhere; but coming home to her every night.

I don’t see anything wrong with flirting if it's not taken too far. I believe we all have the common sense to know where "too far" is and to stay the hell away from it. I feel if you're two single adults with mature states of minds; go ahead and flirt the night away. Live a little. If you're in a relationship, be careful. BE VERY CAREFUL. You can get away with small things. VERY SMALL THINGS, but be respectful to you and your lover. Remember what you have at home. Now for me…I'm as free as a bird, and I will continue to get my flirt on!

Pre-Packaged Love

I haven't sprinkled my love dust around these parts in quite some time. Like the blog before last stated; I've been on my money. I've been working on personal things. I put the whole love thing on the back burner. I even stopped the spontaneous dating and what have you. I've been 100% solo. I've been kicking it hard with my friends and family though. I still have the craving for that love thing though. Every day I can taste it more and more. I'm beginning to drool, loll. I don't want the pre-packaged version though. I want that authentic, made from scratch love. Where they do that at? Huh? Lol.

It's no surprise that most of these females out here now days are pre-packaged. Flip them over and you're reading the same quick and easy way to prepare and the same non-nutritional facts. Ingredients as follows:

Insecurities

Emotional baggage

False pretenses

Attention whore

Self-centered

Lack of common sense

Lack of communication skills

Lack of belief in anything

Lack of belief in self

Lack of love for self

Lack of strength

Dependant

Delusional

Wearing the mask of a real woman

Wearing the mask of a strong woman

Wearing the mask of a good woman

-Microwave 5 minutes and she's done-

Pre-packaged love is not for me. I've had it quick and easy. It's just like Mexican food for me. I love it!!! But I hate the knock off American version. I like mine authentic! I want the real deal. I want someone with wisdom and experience in that kitchen preparing that meal. I don't want a package. I want ingredients in this love dish that I can't find in any other female. I want one taste and immediately be hooked. I don't want to spit it back out, because I'm so tired of tasting the same old thing. I don't want to have my face scrunch up into that bitter look when it hits my buds.

Just because I know what I want, doesn't mean I'm rushing anything. I've already learned my lesson in the whole rushing thing. It doesn't end up well at all. I'm waiting on you though love. I'm hungry! I'm craving, and I'm ready. The knock off's have been disposed of and my plate is clean. Taste ya soon.

**this is not a stab at anyone in particular. just a spill from a woman who knows what she wants, and knows what she doesn't want anymore. respect it. if you're offended, then you're guilty. your fault**

B. Scott Said It Best - Ex Is An Ex For A Reason

I love this guy! He expresses himself in a real and truthful way. Not to mention he's hilarious. This whole ex spill is great. People really do lose their minds when they realize what they lost out on. However, it's too late. BEAT IT! You had your chance and you blew it. The end.